“In elementary school my parents told me it didn’t matter what I did when I grew up, so long as it made me happy. ‘Happiness is the whole point of life,’ my father said. ‘But it doesn’t always come easy. Your mother loves to help people in need, so she became a psychiatric nurse. I love reading, writing and poetry, so I became an English teacher. We both find happiness in the hard work we do each day.’
A few years later when I was in junior high, my sixth-grade homeroom teacher put me in detention for ‘being difficult.’ She went around the classroom and asked each student what they wanted to be when they grew up. When she got to me, I told her I wanted to be happy. She told me I was missing the whole point of the question. I told her she was missing the whole point of life.”
That’s an old parable my grandmother recited to me countless times when I was a kid. I’ve since seen a shortened version of it circulate on social media, oftentimes being falsely attributed to John Lennon, Goldie Hawn, and others. While the internet sleuths seem conflicted over who penned the very first version of the parable, it’s a story that has always stuck with me. Sure it oversimplifies the complexities of happiness, but it makes some good points too. And my grandma’s version has that line about “finding happiness in hard work,” which is a fundamental concept that still resonates deeply with me today.
As adults, Angel and I have spent nearly two decades working one-on-one with hundreds of our coaching clients, book readers, and live event attendees who struggle with variations of that very concept — finding happiness when life demands that we work hard for it. So many of us attach to the expectation that life should be easier than it is. Regardless of what we choose to do “when we grow up,” we subconsciously fantasize that our chosen path will have very few detours, interruptions, or inconveniences. And then we wait around endlessly for things to get easier, as countless good opportunities pass us by.
Whenever you catch yourself stuck in this kind of unproductive cycle, remind yourself…
1. You need to do hard things to be happy in life (and you can).
Yes, you need to do the things most people would rather avoid — the things that make you uncomfortable, that are far easier to run from, that others can’t possibly do for you… the things that make you stronger but also make you question how you’re going to find the strength to push forward.
Why?
Because those hard things ultimately build you up and change your life. They make the difference between existing and living, between knowing the path and walking it, between a lifetime of empty promises to yourself and one filled with purpose, progress, and fulfillment.
The key?
Consistent and passionate daily action!
Learn to believe in your heart that you’re meant to live each day full of passion and purpose — that each and every moment is worthy in its own way. And remind yourself that passion is not something you find in life; it’s something you do. When you want to find the passion and inner strength needed to change your situation, you have to push yourself to step forward.
Many of us are still hopelessly trying to “find our passion” — something that we believe will lead us closer to happiness, success, or the life situation we ultimately want. And I say “hopelessly” primarily because passion can’t really be found. When we say we’re trying to find our passion, it implies that our passion is somehow hiding behind a tree or under a rock somewhere. But that’s far from the truth. The truth is, our passion comes from doing things right. If you’re waiting to somehow “find your passion” somewhere outside yourself, so you finally have a reason to put your whole heart and soul into your life and the changes you need to make, you’ll likely be waiting around for an eternity.
On the other hand, if you’re tired of waiting, and you’d rather live more passionately starting today and experience small positive changes, it’s time to proactively inject passion into the very next thing you do. Think about it:
- When was the last time you sat down and had a conversation with someone nearby, with zero distractions and 100 percent focus?
- When was the last time you exercised and put every bit of effort you could muster into it?
- When was the last time you truly tried — truly tried — to do your very best?
Like most of us, you’re likely putting a halfhearted effort into most of the things you do on a daily basis. Because you’re still waiting. You’re still waiting to “find” something to be passionate about — some magical reason to step into the life you want to create for yourself. But you need to do the exact opposite!
2. Putting your whole heart and soul into ordinary moments is what creates life’s magic.
Going back to when I was a kid again, my grandmother used to tell me, “Stop waiting for better opportunities. The one you have in front of you is the best opportunity.” She also said, “Too often we spend too much time making it perfect in our heads before we ever even do it. Stop waiting for perfection and just do your best with what you have today, and then improve it tomorrow.”
Believe it or not, recent psychological research indirectly reinforces my grandmother’s sentiments. For many years, psychologists believed our minds could directly affect our physical state of being, but never the other way around. Nowadays, however, it is widely documented that our bodies — for example, our momentary facial expressions and body posture — can directly affect our mental state of being too. So while it’s true that we change from the inside out, we also change from the outside in. And you can make this reality work for you. If you want more passion and happiness in your life right now, act accordingly right now.
Put your heart and soul into something!
Not into tomorrow’s opportunities, but into the opportunity right in front of you.
Not into tomorrow’s tasks, but into today’s tasks.
Not into tomorrow’s run, but into today’s run.
Not into tomorrow’s relationships, but into today’s relationships.
Angel and I are certain you have plenty in your life right now that’s worth your time and energy. You have people and circumstances in your life that need you as much as you need them. You have a massive reservoir of potential passion within you, just waiting…
3. Stop waiting — that’s the real lesson here!
It’s not too late, but you do have to get started. In other words, you don’t need to have it all figured out to take the next step. But you do need to take the next step to figure it out. And as you struggle forward, remember, it is far better to be exhausted from taking small steps forward, than it is to be tired of waiting around doing absolutely nothing.
Truth be told, if you wait for “the right time” — if you wait until you feel 100% ready — you will be waiting the rest of your life. Take this to heart right now. Too many people wait too long to live their best lives. They wait all day for 5pm, all week for Friday, all year for the holidays, all their lives for passion and happiness. Don’t be one of them!
Just keep reminding yourself that new paths are made by walking, not waiting. And no, you shouldn’t feel any more confident before you take the next step. Taking the next step is what gradually builds your confidence, and creates progress in life.
Now is the time! It’s your turn…
Just put your heart and soul into what you’ve got right in front of you today…
But before you go, please leave Angel and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay. Your feedback is important to us. 🙂
Which one of the points above resonated the most today?
Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.
Jim says
Once again, you nailed it! I have been waiting, waiting for something to come down the pike, take my breath away, give me a purpose, I’m not waiting anymore! I have been sitting on an imperfect but great plan for too long.
Cynthia Moore says
I loved this article! I’m looking to be intrinsically motivated to do my job…it’s just not coming to me…I know you say put your best you into something right now, what’s in front of you right now. For me, it’s my work computer. I am not motivated to continue the same repetitive and unappreciated work for the ones I do work for. How can I convince them that my predecessor did way more than she was required to (according to my co-workers and my boss)? I get a comment at least every week that “so and so always did this for me”…it certainly makes me feel insignificant and that I’m disappointing people. It’s a morale killer. When do you say STOP and not put your all into anymore? When it robs you of your self-esteem? Hard call…any suggestions?
Dave says
Excellent decision on your part, Jim! Well done! Now you are ready to start your new journey/chapter/segment of your new life! 🙂 🙂 All the best! May I suggest you read Jim Kwik’s book: “Limitless”. I believe it will help you take your game to the next level!
SALOME says
Waiting for the perfect time makes you lose the zeal you have to carry out the task and even the ideas. Start now and watch yourself grow.
Thank you for these reminders, especially the N0.1 you need to do hard things to be happy in life and you can.
I just told myself, Salome, stop running from the opportunity that can change your life forever for good.
Thanks once again.
Hayley says
I struggle with perfectionism and over this last year or so have made great strides in knowing that good enough is enough. My old ways kept me stuck in a job I hated, waiting for the day that it would feel better, be better, when they would appreciate me more. It never came, I got out, and have never looked back.
One step in front of the other, being happy and grateful for the movement toward building a life that is right for me and not worrying about everything being perfect …. I’ve found my joy in life again.
Your essay resonates with me and where I am now. It adds to my confidence that I’m doing just fine, not perfect, but absolutely fine. I’m moving forward, working things out and finding joy and happiness in everything I do.
Diana says
I enjoyed it, it’s very interested I appreciate you, this is a lesson learnt
Dave says
Excellent evaluation, Hayley! Your new perspective will completely change/improve your whole life! Smart move! 🙂 🙂
Juan Carlos Arrieta says
This is one of the most powerful, awakening messages I’ve read online recently! The perfect time is now!
Dave says
Excellent notion, Juan! Smart move! 🙂 🙂
Diana says
Marc and Angel
Wow! I was very moved when I read this article today. I could relate to almost everything you wrote especially about finding passion is not something you find, it is what you do. Looking at my life ( 69 might seem old to some) it is all about taking those important steps and doing instead of waiting. “New paths are made by walking not waiting” really inspired me!
I love your work and so glad it came my way thru the hands of God!
Peace and Happiness
Diana
Adebayo says
“Put your heart and soul into something!
Not into tomorrow’s opportunities, but into the opportunity right in front of you.
Not into tomorrow’s tasks, but into today’s tasks.
Not into tomorrow’s run, but into today’s run…”
WOW! A wake-up call for me.
Dave says
Excellent, Adebayo!! Go for it, Man!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂
Barbara says
Number 3 is me all the way. I’ve been waiting on people to do things they say they are going to do and for circumstances to change before I do anything. Here I am today still waiting. I now am going to do what I can do with everything that comes my way and not wait on others.
Chris Hufnagl says
Hi Marc and Angel,
I don’t have a lot of time to write at the moment, but I’ll tell you what resonated with me…one line.
“New paths are made by walking, not waiting.”
‘Nuff said. Gotta get on with the day. Cheers.
Chris
Bonnie Peterson says
Love your articles! They are so uplifting and encouraging. Just what I need! My life motto has always been, ” Nothing great was ever accomplished without enthusiasm.”
I think this fits in with what you’re saying. Maybe others think that I haven’t achieved great things but I’ve done small things with passion! My life has been full and I am so grateful.
Kaiwan says
“So while it’s true that we change from the inside out, we also change from the outside in.” That really did resonate with me today! It made me realize that, yeah, sometimes even wearing better, smarter clothing makes a difference to your mental state… I’ve usually tried to consciously downplay this, but there is some truth to it. Thanks !
Joy says
Thank you for reminding me that my future is now. Not tomorrow or next week or next month. I’ve honestly been putting a couple important things off until “tomorrow, next week, etc.” without acknowledging the simple fact that there’s an upside to getting started sooner.
J says
Excellent! All 3 lessons are great reminders of what we need to keep in mind… especially on the hard days. SOO good!
Saarim says
Absolutely eye-opening as a 20-year old! Absolutely resonated with each thing that was said. Glad I found this early in my life than later. It was as if someone who knew everything about me was speaking directly to me as a well-wisher. Can’t thank you guys, Marc & Angel, enough for this!
Bold Eagle says
Your essay is uplifting and gratifying.
I am ecstatic to receive your email every day in my inbox. Your profound thoughts set the stage for me for the rest of my day. I need all your powerful words to remind me to keep navigating this world we all call life.
Be kind to yourself
Cynthia says
I really appreciated your post especially the parable between you and your grandmother. It brought to mind when my, then 7-year-old son got ahold of his father’s camera and started taking pictures of EVERYTHING! lol. In an uproar, his father snatched the camera away and said “You’re going to use up all my memory!”, my son replied, “I thought it was for making memories.”
You guys are doing Heaven’s work. Thanks for sharing!
Brent says
Hi Marc and Angel,
Really uplifting and to the point with right words and messages.
I have been waiting for years to make a very important decision that could have disastrous ramifications in terms of an insecure stressful homeless future at worse but with happiness in terms of personal freedom. Or a secure bleak future being miserable in a relationship.
This article has given the power to go ahead with something I should have done a long time ago.
Dani says
Just when I’m reading “When was the last time you sat down … When was the last time you exercised…
When was the last time you truly tried” an ad – one of the ones you sell… pops up and says “When was the last time you had an oil change” Wow! That’s so deep! You couldn’t have said it any better yourselves! Really illuminating!
Good luck!
Lydia Passadaiou says
Hello guys,
I’ve been reading your articles a couple of months now and I love the way you present so many fundamental things of life that keep us stuck, with such wisdom and truth.
I keep a daily journal and set aside putting down my thoughts and feelings on it, I also note some of your phrases that resonate in me and have helped me a lot!!
I’m grateful to have come across your blog and I thankful to read your words.
I live in Greece – Athens. If I ever wanted to follow one of your programs, would that be possible ?
Thank you!
Keep up your amazing work!
Clare Davis says
A great reminder to me that sometimes happiness comes through doing hard things. I wanted to make my life easier by minimising stress and anxiety a few years ago but I’ve let things just drift on without testing myself for too long. Anything no matter how small needs to be done today with intention and attention! Thanks for sharing this
Don Wils says
Wow! Thank God there there pple out there who are sure to give u a helping hand. U just have to keep on moving. It came just when I needed it the most. Really hit hard. Thanks a lot Angel and co learnt a whole whole lot??
Paula says
Such a great essay so inspiring how to live life to the full . It’s just brilliant the way you write your essays in such a great way , they all hit home , I really do think it’s how you write them , it is absolutely brilliant, I can’t thank you enough. I look forward every day to your essays , they keep me on track to a happier me THANK YOU BOTH . Paula
VIVIAN R UPSHAW says
Love your sharing the path is made by walking, not waiting!
Also, really connected to we need to do hard things- it’s good for us.
Lou says
My mom use to always say put your heart and soul into all you do. Your Grandmother had a lot of wisdom and common sense. Thanks for all your Blogs… they all always hit me hard and make me think.
Ang says
I love this! It’s so easy to wait for the next “important thing” to come along, to wait for the “right moment”, all the while missing what is right in front of you. This really resonated with me right now in my life. Thank you!