Patience is not about waiting, it’s the ability to maintain a positive outlook while working hard for what you believe in.
Have you ever told yourself that you’re going to make something happen and then nothing happened? All details aside, it’s because you didn’t have the right habits in place — the little things you do every day that build up to something bigger. Your habits truly make or break you. Because in all walks of life you become what you habitually do. You will never make progress or change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret to your success is always found in your daily habits and routines.
In other words, regardless of your unique life situation or how you personally define success, you can’t become an overnight success. You become successful over time from all the little things you do one day at a time.
Failure occurs in the same way. All your little daily failures (that you don’t learn and grow from) come together and cause you to fail…
- You fail to check the books.
- You fail to make the calls.
- You fail to listen to your customers.
- You fail to innovate.
- You fail to do what must be done.
And then one day you wake up and your business has failed. It was all the little things you did or didn’t do along the way — your daily habits — not just one big catastrophic event.
Let this be your wake-up call.
YOUR LIFE IS YOUR BUSINESS!
YOUR HABITS ARE YOUR BUSINESS!
So today, let’s discuss some super-common daily habits Marc and I have seen plaguing dozens of our coaching clients and conference attendees over the past decade — little things many people do over and over again, week after week, that waste nearly all their time and potential in life:
1. Change nothing and expect different results.
There’s a saying that the definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Take this to heart. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Oftentimes the only difference between a successful person and a person who makes little progress is not one’s superior abilities, but the courage that one has to bet on their ideas, to take calculated risks, and to take steady steps forward.
Truly, some people sit and wait for the magic beans to arrive while the rest of us just get up and get to work.
2. Keep waiting for the right time.
Even when we have productive intentions, too many of us waste so much of our time waiting for ideal paths to appear. But they never do of course, because we forget that paths are made by walking, not waiting. So stop waiting today…
Think of today as the beginning — the conception of a new life. The next nine months are all yours. You can do with them as you please. Make them count! Because a new person is born in nine months. The only question is: Who do you want that person to be? Now is the time to decide.
And no, you shouldn’t feel more confident before you take the next step. Taking the next step is what builds your confidence and fuels your inner and outer growth.
3. Believe good things come fast and easy.
A goal is a point of achievement that requires effort and sacrifice. There are no esteemed goals worth participating in that don’t require some level of effort and sacrifice. Marc’s 90-year-old grandmother once told us, “Decades from now when you’re getting closer to the end, you will not remember the days that were easy, you will cherish the moments when you rose above your difficulties and conquered challenges of magnitude. You will dream of the strength you found within yourself that allowed you to achieve what once seemed impossible.”
So don’t just do what’s easy today, do what you’re capable of. Astound yourself with your own abilities. And as you struggle forward, remember, it’s far better to be exhausted from little bits of effort and learning than to be tired of doing absolutely nothing. Effort is never wasted, even when it leads to disappointing results. For it always makes you stronger and more experienced in the long run.
4. Refuse to accept necessary risks.
Living is about learning as you go. Living is risky business. Every decision, every interaction, every step, every time you get out of bed in the morning, you take a small risk. To truly live is to know you’re getting up and taking that risk, and to trust yourself to take it. To not get out of bed, clutching to illusions of safety, is to die slowly without ever having truly lived…
Think about it. If you ignore your instincts and let shallow feelings of uncertainty constantly stop you, you will never know anything for sure, and in many ways this un-knowing will be worse than finding out your instincts were wrong. Because if you were wrong, you could make adjustments and carry on with your life, without always looking back and wondering what might have been.
5. Make the rejections of yesterday the focal point of today.
Be okay with walking away when the time comes. Rejection teaches us how to reject what’s not right for our well-being. It won’t always be easy, but some chapters in our lives have to close without closure. There’s no point in losing yourself by trying to fix what’s meant to stay broken.
All too often we let the rejections of our past dictate every move we make thereafter. We literally do not know ourselves to be any better than what some opinionated person or isolated circumstance once told us was true. Of course, this old rejection doesn’t mean we aren’t good enough — it means the other person or circumstance failed to align with what we had to offer at the time. It means we have more time now to improve our thing, to build upon our ideas, to perfect our craft, and to indulge deeper into the work that moves us. And that’s exactly what YOU need to do, starting now.
6. Refuse to take responsibility.
You aren’t responsible for everything that happened to you, but you need to be responsible for undoing the thinking and behavioral patterns these outcomes created within you. Blaming the past for a limiting mindset today doesn’t fix it. Change your response to what you remember, and step forward again with grace.
A combination of your decisions and external factors for which you had no control brought you to where you are today. Negatively blaming someone else, or some past circumstance, will change nothing. Positively taking full responsibility for the next step on your path forward can change everything. Leave the unchangeable past behind you as you diligently give yourself to the present moment. In this moment is every possibility you seek. Take responsibility for it, and bring these possibilities to life.
7. Close your mind to new ideas and perspectives.
Remember that success in life does not depend on always being right. To make real progress you must let go of the assumption that you already have all the answers. Even as you grow wiser with age, you must remind yourself that an understanding is never absolutely final. What’s currently right could easily be wrong later. Thus, the most destructive illusion is a settled point of view.
So don’t stop learning! Don’t stop investing in yourself. Study. Read. Devour books. Engage with people, including those who think differently. Ask questions. Listen closely. And don’t just grow in knowledge. Be a person who gives back. Use what you’re learning to make a real and lasting difference. (Note: “The Good Morning Journal: Powerful Prompts and Reflections to Start Every Day” is a good tool for keeping yourself on track with this kind of fresh daily perspective.)
8. Let a few negative people continuously distract you.
Your mind is your private sanctuary; do not allow the negative beliefs of others to occupy it. Your skin is your barrier; do not allow others to get under it. Take good care of your personal boundaries and what you allow yourself to absorb from others.
Of course, there will inevitably be a few people in your life who will be critical of you regardless of what you do or how well you do it. If you say you want to be a dancer, they will discredit your taste in music. If you say you want to build a new business, they will give you a dozen reasons why it might not work. They somehow assume you don’t have what it takes, but they are dead wrong! Let that sink in…
It’s a lot easier to be negative than positive — a lot easier to be critical than correct. When you’re embarking on a new venture, instead of listening to the few critics that will try to distract you, spend time talking to one of the hundreds of people in this world who are willing to support your efforts and acknowledge your potential, respectfully. And go ahead and leave us a comment down at the bottom of this post if you think you can’t find one.
9. Hold tight to something that’s not real.
Remind yourself right now that not everything is meant to be. Sometimes you have to track the data, review the data, and seriously sit down with yourself and come to grips with the fact that you were wrong about it all along. It was just an illusion that never really was what you thought it was.
It’s one of the most difficult realizations to accept, to realize that you feel a sense of loss, even though you never really had what you thought you had in the first place. The key is knowing this, learning from it, letting go, and taking the next step forward. (Note: Marc and I discuss this in more detail in the Adversity and Growth chapters of “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”.)
10. Maintain rigid expectations every step of the way.
Simple things become complicated when you expect too much. Rigid expectations truly are a root cause of heartache. Don’t let them get the best of you. Every difficult life situation can be an excuse for hopelessness or an opportunity for personal growth, depending on what you choose to do with it. So start by choosing to let go of the expectations that aren’t serving you.
A mistake doesn’t hurt, expectation does. A rejection doesn’t hurt, expectation does. And so it goes…
Remember, the mind is your battleground. It’s the place where the fiercest conflict resides. It’s where half the things you feared would happen, never actually happened. It’s where your expectations get the best of you, and you fall victim to your own train of thought time and time again. So don’t lower your standards, but do remember that removing your rigid expectations in life is the best way to avoid being disappointed by everyone and everything you encounter.
Truth be told, one of the most important moments in life is the moment you finally find the courage to let go of what can’t be changed. Because, when you are no longer able to change a situation, you are challenged to change yourself — to grow beyond the unchangeable. And that changes everything…
An Exercise for Building Better Daily Habits
If you feel a like you’ve wasted too much time in the past on one or more of the points above, this quick actionable closing exercise is for YOU.
Choose any area in your life that you want to improve, and then:
- Write down the specific details about your current circumstances. (What’s bothering you? Where are you stuck? What do you want to change?)
- Write down your answer to this question: What are the daily habits that have contributed to your current circumstances? (Be honest with yourself. What are you doing regularly that actually contributes to the situation you’re in?)
- Write down a few specific details about the “better circumstances” you’d like to create for yourself. (What would make you happy? What does an improved situation look like for you?)
- Write down your answer to this question: What are the daily habits that will get you from where you are to where you want to be? (Think about it. What small, daily steps will help you gradually move forward from point A to point B?)
Now, it’s your turn…
Yes, it’s your turn to not fall back into your old patterns of living simply because they’re more comfortable and easier to access. It’s your turn to remember that you’re leaving certain habits and situations behind today for a reason: to improve your life — because you can’t move forward if you keep going back. And, it’s undoubtedly your turn to reclaim your time and potential, and make today count!
But before you go, please leave Marc and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay. Your feedback is important to us. 🙂
Which one of the points above resonated the most today?
Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.
Michelle says
I think #10 is extremely important. This is an outstandingly written article. Thank you!
Levi says
This is just about the most inspiration article I have read on the internet. Just spoke to me in my leadership transition.
Tiane says
Thanks. I particularly love the actionable exercise. Over the years I’ve received so much information about bettering myself, but the exercises necessary to practice in order to learn different patterns of behaviour are not easily found.
Verona Cordial says
I agree. Ive had counselling and plenty of similar advice to this but the actionable exercise is the bit that was always missing. Its the link between where we are to where we want to go. Its about learning and realising what you did to cause the past and how what you do now will influence and change the future. Fantastic article. Love it.
Eric Dasig says
Thank you so much this article is a wake up call for me who waste much of my time relaxing not knowing I’m in the situation to reap my bad habits. I will make baby steps from now on to improve my business which is me. Thank you once again and more power. God bless
Shahid says
I fully agree it’s remarkable absolutely fantastic writing
Susan says
Agree. Thank you
Alison says
Thank you, Angel and Marc. I swear you’re like my Angels on my shoulder who is my conscience when I need it most. I certainly don’t follow through for myself enough. How can a person claim to want something so badly, yet fail at the follow-up so abysmally? It’s well past time that changed for me, and without pushing forward, there would never be any advances in anything! Thank you for subtly pricking my pride enough to tell me what nobody else had the nerve to lately.
Josué Cossa says
Hi I’m Josué from Mozambique, I’m flabbergasted by this article. It feels like a rebirth to me, a paradigm shift, it’s truly engaging and catchy, I keep referring to it. Thank you for sharing this, sharing is caring.
Ada says
Well said, I was thinking the same
Nico James says
Finally an article of substance online in my feed. This was truly a worthwhile read! You kicked my butt in a good and much needed way just now! THANK YOU.
Ankit Shai says
Angel and Marc, I don’t know how these things happen, but every single word of every single line of every single point you’ve written in your essay above, directly (and with uncanny accuracy) applies to me! It felt as if you’ve actually known me personally for years, and are now talking to me directly based on everything you’ve learned about me in the last 2-3 years. Even in my short life until now, I’ve seen massive successes, and (lately) the absolute rock-bottom failures. The last couple of years have been especially tough. Even therapy didn’t help much, beyond simply having someone impartial to talk to.
But this essay helped, and I know I’ll have to read it every day (at least for now) for your advice to drill into my head, cuz that’s the only way I’ll actually be able to carry them with me, as opposed to forgetting them as soon I wake up tomorrow morning (or afternoon – yes that’s how horrible my sleep schedule has become).
Thank you for writing all of this so beautifully and pertinently. I hope I am able to apply these to myself. I will try to update this comment as I progress
Carmen says
#7 deeply connects with me at age 71. As we get older so important to stay open minded to new ideas, perspective and learning.
As Albert Einstein put it “once you stop learning, you start dying.” Therefore, let’s stay young & sharper by challenging our brain with reading, puzzles, journaling and mental exercises that aids in stimulating communication, memory and cultivating a fresh perspective, ideas.
Will keep all habits and mentalities listed above handy for reference. Ty.
William Myers says
I’m 72 still working..putting most of this article to use in my life. Keep em coming!
Trina says
Love the direct action steps for building good habits and routines at the end. Thank you so much. This was so timely for me.
Queen Tee says
Thank you for your consistency! I’ve skipped past many of your essays and emails over the years, thinking that they weren’t relevant to me until the last few weeks I’ve been curiously opening them to view the content. This is so timely! I’ve decided to make it a HABIT to read your emails whenever you send one. Thank you!
Jill says
“The most destructive illusion is a settled point of view”….I like it! Great read all around!
Anne Ngethe says
Number 10 has impacted me the most today, though most of the points are well thought out, practical, and very helpful to me personally. Thank you!
H Mann says
Excellent article many things to learn and improve life would like to show it to a friend
V says
Willingness, awareness, action, change.
Just do it.
The pathway to betterment.
Marc and Angel, you both are truly serving your purpose of being inspirational, gratitude.
elize nel says
thanks for motivational info with practical exercise to take steps in my own life….I am 66years old with Mastersdegree but still l learned and will forward it to my son
Halle O says
Thank you Marc & Angel
I am so glad l came across this vital article this morning
I have spend so much time in the pass unproductive despite having great ideas on transiting from shift work to start my own business
I am putting more effort now.
Pam says
Leave behind what doesn’t align.
Annie says
Such an easy read, but highly impact-full! So many thanks,
Annie
Lona says
Your words came at the most appropriate time. I’ve been struggling to get up after being stuck down by the worst betrayal from people I trusted. I’ve always been an achiever and know that it’s only up to myself to change my future. Courage left me for a while but your #5 reminder me to close that chapter and move forward because I’ve already got the experience and now it’s time to build something new! Thank you so much!
Oluwatoyin Afilaka says
Absolutely superb.
Lauren says
The entire article was very helpful for me, I am doing all the journal prompts. My time is now!
Neetha Dildar says
A profoundly written Article indeed..
The habits’ exercise is excellent as it allows you to think on your feet situationally. When faced with anything you can quickly work out the steps in your mind and correct your situation. The thought process is a strategy of how do I get from the situation I am in now (A) to where I want to be (B). Excellent. An article of substance that will get you into form. THANK YOU.
Rev. Vicki Gladding says
Thank you! This has a lot of excellent points. I love how you also incorporate an action plan too.
Stephanie says
#8 was particularly helpful to me reminding me about personal boundaries and not letting penetrate your space. I love the first paragraph of #8. You mean I have the choice to not absorb everything people say to me? Amazing concept. The entire article is brilliantly written. Thank you!
Didge says
It’s funny with all the tech and information about how to do things the right way to find the answers, involves writing.
Write down the question, write the answer down, reflect, expand, brainstorm, but write them down. Why? So we have something concrete to follow.
Critical self assessment and brain storming but organized by putting it in writing or a place that can store and reference it because our brains can’t do it alone…
I did this in therapy 35 years ago. I journaled. Then i started writing important stuff, accomplishments, dreams, THEN, i started the how to get it done in a bunch of different way lists. I used those lists to checklist, reference, alter, grow from.
Diana says
It’s been a long time since an Essay in my feed has caught my attention and something prompted me to read the whole thing (twice) instead of scanning through it. I am so grateful this essay was here today!! It was fresh and on spot. Number 5 resonated with me the most today. I will be rereading this and I am looking forward to more. Thank you.
Mike Uaiz says
Was a worthwhile read. Very challenging and yet a very practical and achievable guide to personal transformation. Well appreciated. Thank you.
Timothy says
I count myself very lucky and highly favoured to have stumbled upon this article. The article has helped to self reflect on the many facets of my life that needs improvement..I will now take time to internalize the insights, apply the necessary changes and ultimately see my life improve for the better
Darci says
I say ALL OF THESE POINTS resonate with me! This article has been so helpful! I have all these dreams and goals and I have had some big things happen like in #6. Some are my actions and some are actions that are beyond my control, but you guys are so right negatively blaming someone for my past won’t help me with my future. So I need be positive and take full responsibility for my future. Also not always people like in #8 get into my head. I am guilty of that as well, but honestly all of these I have been guilty of at one time and it does not help me move forward to where I want to be. I do struggle with anxiety and sometimes that can feel like it is choking me in fear moving forward.
Scarlet says
This is the first time read for me, and from 1 to 10 applies. Truth is I have been battling this storm for so long that I had resigned to go down with the ship , there is still a glimmer of defeating this storm and for that I’m truly grateful to have come across your website.
Thankyou. Scarlet
Meagan Alphonso says
Great tips. Thank you for sharing! I needed to read this today
Jennifer Miller says
The quiz was great – actionable and a bonus to kick things off from the list. It really helped me get to thinking specifics.
Motlatsi says
Wow, what an eye opener, I always have great plans but implication is my worst nightmare. No 2 stands out for me “Keep waiting for the right time” that time never comes. After reading this I’m not looking back, looking forward to a brighter future by implementing my plan. God give me strength! Thank you Angel and Marc. Procrastination ends today.
Alibek says
In a seafoam of incoming info from the plethora of success gurus yours is truly a one to follow. Not complicated yet not overly simplistic. You don’t attribute everything either to intrinsic or external, you link them. Thank you.
Ubaid Bukhari says
Very nice article and nice small and actionable steps which created the change in your Life…Very heart touching. And Lovely small tips for your professional career improvements too.
Thanks.
Dave says
Number 8 is on point for me. I have some people around me that are so negative to me. I am working on getting away from some. And learning how to deal with those I can’t. Thank you.
Paschal says
Very good article.
I want to read it over and over.
Joanna says
I will re-read this more thoroughly and practice it in motion to improve my life overall, for sure. It gave me a broader prospective on everything, definitely beneficial. Loved it!!
Don Bowes says
Thank you for this article.
I will be 79 in a few weeks and have had many successes but the the last few years have been downhill.
Thank you for helping me take the first step forward to cope.
Paul Ibidun says
A most instructive, timely, truthful and detailed guide to changes I need to make in my life. Nearly all the 10 points are great but if I must choose a most outstanding one, #10 will be it for me. Best regards, Paul Ibidun
Rhya says
I felt thoroughly offended by this list but the reason being that you guys were right. Thank you for pointing it out in such detail. It makes sense now why things haven’t worked.
Corey says
Number 6 is the one that hit home for me. Thank you for this article! This is definitely a re-read!
Isaiah says
Thanks a whole lot for this. I honestly needed to read this at this point in time.
Amim says
Well written with great intentions and lot of researches.
Lou says
My problem I keep going back I live in the past most of the time and look at the failures and many mistakes. Trying to get away from that… 10 was it for me today.