Sexual infidelity is widely regarded as one of the most dishonorable assaults against the sanctity of an intimate relationship. Yet, we all seem to be mesmerized by it. Infidelity makes a love story more intense, a song or poem more passionately tragic, and forms the foundation for which the immensely popular celebrity gossip industry firmly holds the attention of millions worldwide. If infidelity is so appalling, then why are we all so consumed with the notions of the act?
At some point in time everyone involved in an exclusive relationship experiences a momentary thought of infidelity. It’s the flirtatious glimmer in your eye that indicates a brief superficial curiosity for someone of the opposite sex, the simple act of wondering. For that split second your values misalign, placing shallow emotion ahead of your true moral character. This momentary shift is a direct reflection of your instinctual emotion splitting away from your moral values. When your sound moral values and your fickle emotion are disconnected, your mind is divided and thus your judgment is muddled. Most people’s acts of infidelity are innocent, left hanging to expire in brief, insignificant moments of thought.
It is the strength of our character that realigns this momentary disconnect and prevents innocent thought from transgressing into an act of infidelity. Reliability, honesty, and trustworthiness can be directly measured by one’s strength of character. When the act of infidelity occurs, it has nothing to do with love; it is solely related to the shameful weakness of one’s character… weakness that is driven by senseless emotion.
People whom have never actually taken part in the act of infidelity would probably also deny the allegation of ever experiencing a momentary thought of infidelity. This can be attributed to the fact that the thought never actually enters the conscious mind, but instead lingers in our subconscious. The thought process is a natural instinct, and although we may be oblivious to it, our minds are instinctually aware of it. It’s the combination of this subconscious awareness and our general human curiosity that will continue to foster the mass market interest and popularity of infidelity.
I’ll wrap it up with a quote from one of my favorite artists:
Everyone here is wondering what it’s like to be with somebody else.
Everyone here’s to blame, everyone here,
Gets caught up in the pleasure of the pain.
Everyone hides shades of shame,
But looking inside we’re the same, we’re all the same.
And we’re all grown now, but we don’t know how
to get it back to good.
– Rob Thomas
Irrational thoughts occasionally occur in the minds of all people. Intelligence does not make someone immune to irrational thought. These thoughts typically clutter our minds with feelings of resentment and distaste. Sometimes they are based on internal defense mechanisms we develop to mitigate personal anger in an attempt to avoid facing the truth about ourselves or our immediate circumstances. If someone imposes stringent expectations related to a stressful issue on themselves or their close companions, irrational thought is likely to set in, and all parties involved will probably experience needless emotional grief.
As soon as email writers start using text phrases to characterize emotion that would normally be delivered via physical body language, the intended message could be misunderstood by the reader due to a complete misinterpretation of the writer’s emotional tone. It’s also important to note that intentional sarcasm in an email message only makes matters worst. The source of the problem with email communication deals directly with emotion. Emotion portrayed in a text based email can be interpreted differently when being read by different people, in much of the same way that a well written poem or set of song lyrics can receive various interpretations by various people.
When I joined the Marines as an active duty soldier in the mid 1990’s my first job as a lowly 18 year old Private First Class was picking up trash on the military base. I worked with 5 other soldiers my age. We drove a pickup truck around the base for several hours every morning picking up other people’s garbage bags and emptying small dumpsters. Military or not, we were garbage men, through and through. What initially seemed like a nightmare, actually ended up turning into one of the greatest jobs I’ve ever had.
All too often in the news we read success stories supporting the endeavors of young career professionals that put “their lives” on hold while in pursuit of the prestigious career and job title of their dreams. I’m not saying it’s wrong, I truly believe you should pursuit your dreams. Putting all your effort into achieving something you truly desire makes sense… it is basis behind the American dream. However, there must be a balance. The time spent on business matters can never be recovered. If sufficient time is not allocated to fostering new relationships and nurturing current ones, will the end result suitably reflect the original envisioned dream, or will it leave something to be desired?