Archives for October 2013

10 Things You Should Never Say About Yourself

10.30.2013 by Marc Chernoff // 48 Comments

10 Things You Should Never Say About Yourself

“None but ourselves can free our minds.”
— Bob Marley

When I was a freshman in high school, and struggling to find my way, someone anonymously slipped a note into my locker one afternoon. It said, “Don’t let them get inside your head. You’re not boring, nerdy or weird. You’re complex, creative and far too intelligent for their small words. And for the record, you are also infinitely more attractive than you give yourself credit for.”

I never discovered who wrote the note, but whoever they are, they changed my life. From that day forward, I changed the way I talked to myself.

Specifically, I STOPPED saying…

1. “I’m not good enough yet.”

You might think you’re not good enough, but you’ll surprise yourself if you keep trying. Your past does not determine who you are. Your past prepares you for who you are capable of becoming. What ultimately defines you is how well you rise after falling. Don’t ever be afraid to give yourself a chance to be everything you are capable of being. Forget the haters. Never undervalue who you are and what you’re capable of. Excellence is the result of loving more than others think is necessary, dreaming more than others think is practical, risking more than others think is safe, and doing more than others think is possible.

2. “I should be living up to other people’s expectations.”

Remember, it’s always better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb than the top of the one you don’t. Happiness and success is all about spending your life in your own way. Always be yourself and walk your own path. No one can ever tell you you’re doing it wrong. Everyone has their own dreams, their own struggles, and a different path that makes sense for them. You are YOU for [Read more…]

7 Sources of Stress You Tolerate Too Often

10.23.2013 by Marc Chernoff // 52 Comments

7 Sources of Stress You Tolerate Too Often

“The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.”
?E.E. Cummings

Life is to be enjoyed and appreciated, not endured and tolerated. Which is why today is a perfect day to stop tolerating…

1. People who are purposely difficult.

Don’t let anyone’s negativity stop you from being happy. Negative company will never give you a positive life. Examine what you tolerate. Every time you subtract negative from your life, you make room for more positive. Happiness is found around encouraging, loving people.

Learning to ignore certain people is one of the great paths to inner peace. Life gets easier when you delete those who make it difficult.

2. Your attempts to live up to the expectations of others.

Remember, you can’t base your idea of success and happiness on other people’s opinions. We’re not here to live up to each other’s expectations; we’re here to follow our own intuition and do our best. When you clear out other people’s expectations, or the classic things you are “supposed” to want, you create the time needed to take steps towards your true destiny.

Bruce Lee once said, “I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and [Read more…]

10 Risks Happy People Take Every Day

10.20.2013 by Marc Chernoff // 55 Comments

10 Risks Happy People Take Every Day

“You cannot protect yourself from sadness
without protecting yourself from happiness.”
— Jonathan Foer

Almost two decades ago, somewhat as a joke since she tutored me throughout grade school, I asked my grandmother to sign my yearbook. This was her closing paragraph:

“The best thing you can do from this day forward is to follow your intuition. Take risks. Don’t just make the safe and easy choices because you’re afraid of what could happen. If you do, very little worth remembering will ever happen.”

Years later, as I grew interested in the psychology of happiness, I realized how pertinent my grandmother’s words were. Risk is an inherent part of living a good life. Without taking risks, you cannot truly live… you merely exist. Which is why the happiest among us take small risks every day. Let’s take a look at ten examples, and examine some ideas on how to implement them in your own life.

1. They risk the possibility of being hurt.

As you grow up, you will learn that even the one person who wasn’t supposed to ever let you down probably will in some small way. You will have your heart broken probably more than once. You too will inadvertently break some hearts, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You’ll occasionally argue with your closest friends. You’ll blame new loves for things an old one did. You’ll cry because time is passing too fast, and you’ll eventually lose someone you thought you couldn’t live without. This is what happens when you open your heart and mind to the greatest joys of life.

Chuck Palahniuk once said, “The only way to find true happiness in life is to risk being completely cut open.” Nothing could be closer to the truth. Anybody who is capable of living and loving is bound to get hurt at some point, but that’s a risk that’s well worth the reward. The result is a life filled with honesty and love.

So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you’ve never been hurt. Don’t be afraid that your days will end in pain, be afraid they will never begin with honesty and love. Life is too short to let it pass by. Open your heart and [Read more…]

9 Warning Signs You’re On the Wrong Track

10.17.2013 by Marc Chernoff // 52 Comments

9 Warning Signs You’re On the Wrong Track

“May you live every day of your life.”
?Jonathan Swift

A few years ago one of our close friends unexpectedly passed away at age 27. Angel and I spent several weeks mourning, reflecting, and re-evaluating our purpose and path forward. The aftermath of this tragedy reframed our thinking on many levels, and completely overhauled how we approach our lives, our dreams, and our relationships.

We suddenly realized how the fragility of life makes every moment so meaningful, and that most of us waste far too many moments immersing ourselves in needless distractions that steal our attention away from the things that actually matter.

If you feel like you’re on the wrong track with what matters most to you, here are nine warning signs to look for, and tips to get you back on track:

1. All the decisions you’ve made someone else made for you.

There are people who live their entire lives on the default settings, never realizing they can customize everything. Don’t be one of them.

You have to live your own life your own way. That’s all there is to it. Each of us has a unique fire in our heart for something that makes us feel alive. It’s your duty to find it and keep it lit. You’ve got to stop caring so much about what everyone else wants for you, and start actually living for yourself.

Find your love, your talents, your passions and embrace them. Don’t hide behind other people’s decisions. Don’t let others tell you what you want. Design and experience YOUR life! The life you create from doing something that moves you is far better than the life you get from sitting around wishing you were doing [Read more…]

10 Truths You Will Learn Before You Find Happiness

10.15.2013 by Angel Chernoff // 70 Comments

10 Truths You Will Learn Before You Find Happiness

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say,
and what you do are in harmony.”
— Mahatma Gandhi

We are all beautiful human beings here in this world trying to find our way. Every day we seek to better understand the meaning of our lives. We long to discover our gifts and release them fully into the world, and we hope to find happiness and peace along the way. For some of us the key to these desires rings loud and clear, driving what we do and how we do it. For others, these deep seeded needs are buried below the noise of daily life, below ego, below fear, below the pressures and norms that we face in society… and thus, they are rarely addressed.

Along my own journey of self-actualization, I’ve witnessed dozens of great people discover their own paths to happiness and self-fulfillment, and I’ve noticed many common themes emerge. In all cases, the happiness they discover and gradually develop internally is seeded by the realization of certain fundamental truths.

It seems we are all here to realize these truths, in our own way, in our own time. And once they resonate fully, not just intellectually, but emotionally and spiritually, we are then able to find the happiness and peace we seek…

1. It’s impossible for anyone else to define YOU.

You are indefinable. You are the only one in this world who gets to say who you are. Circumstances and the opinions of others can only define you if you allow them to. Do not give away your power and the magic of your essence by putting weight on negative situations in your life or the negative words of other people. [Read more…]