Archives for December 2013

10 Ways to Stop Treating Yourself

12.29.2013 by Marc Chernoff // 51 Comments

10 Ways to Stop Treating Yourself

“The only person who can pull me down is myself, and
I’m not going to let myself pull me down anymore.”
?C. JoyBell C.

Your relationship with yourself is the closest and most important relationship you will ever have. When was the last time someone told you they loved and respected you just the way you are, and that what you think and how you feel means the world? When was the last time someone told you that you did a great job, or when necessary, that “everything is going to be OK.” When was the last time that ‘someone’ was YOU?

It’s time to start treating yourself better. It’s time to…

1. Stop holding yourself back from living TODAY.

Sadly, only a tiny percentage of the people in this world will actually experience their lives today. So many of us will be stuck on another day, another time and place that troubled us and caused us to spiritually stumble, and thus miss out on life as we’re living it. Realize this and pull it together. Do not allow your spirit to be softened or your happiness to be limited by a time and place you cannot get back or a day that does not yet exist. Live today!

Before you know it you’ll be asking, “How did it get so late so soon?” So take time right now to figure yourself out. Take time to realize what you want and need. Take time to take risks. Take time to love, laugh, cry, learn, and move forward. Life is shorter than it often seems. Realize that right now you’re lucky because you still have a chance. So stop for a moment and think. Whatever you need to do, start doing it now; there are only so many ‘todays’ left.

2. Stop ignoring your peaceful inner space.

Remember that there is a place within you that you can go to at any moment. It [Read more…]

12 Easy Ways to Make Life Simple Again

12.22.2013 by Angel Chernoff // 41 Comments

12 Easy Ways to Make Life Simple Again

Life is not complicated. We are complicated. When we stop doing the wrong things and start doing the right things, life is simple.

Would you like to uncomplicate your life? I bet you would!

Marc and I received well over 1,000 replies to our recent ‘subscribers only’ email series (you can subscribe here for free) on simplicity. This inspired me to revisit the content, tailor it to some of the most popular replies and questions we received, and share this enhanced summary of our simplicity advice series with you here.

A simple life has a different meaning and a different value for every person. For me, it means getting rid of some of life’s complexities so you can spend more time with people you love and do more of the things you love. It means getting rid of the clutter, and eliminating all but the essential, so you are left with only that which gives you value.

For the cynics who might say that the list of ideas below is too long to be ‘simple,’ there are really only two steps to simplifying:

Identify what’s most important to you.
Eliminate as much as you possibly can of everything else.

Of course, that advice is not terribly useful unless you understand how to apply this concept to different areas of your life; so I present to you the points below as well. And since there can be no ‘one size fits all,’ step-by-step guide to simplifying your life, I’ve compiled an incomplete list of ideas that should help you move in the right direction. Not every tip will fit your lifestyle, so just choose a few that do and apply them accordingly. [Read more…]

8 Things Happy, Successful People Never Say

12.15.2013 by Marc Chernoff // 59 Comments

8 Things Happy, Successful People Never Say

That’s what careless words do…
They make you love life a little less.

How well have you chosen your words? Have you put them to positive or negative use? If I eavesdropped on your self-talk, or your conversations with others, would I hear statements that create happiness or statements that refute it?

Words are powerful. They can create or they can destroy. Even the small words you whisper under your breath can be the ones to hurt you, or save you. Your ability to write a happy life story hinges on your language. It is your inner and outer verbal expression that makes your joy possible and that infuses your life with purpose and vitality.

Today, I challenge you to choose your words wisely. It’s time to STOP saying…

1. “My goals and dreams can wait.”

To accomplish great things, you must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe. Be a dreamer, a believer, and a courageous and cheerful thinker. Be a positive motivator, a productive doer, and a go-getter who keeps her head in the clouds and her feet on the ground. Let the spirit of passion and possibility ignite a fire within you to do something worthwhile today, and don’t [Read more…]

7 Stressful Things to Start Ignoring

12.11.2013 by Marc Chernoff // 50 Comments

7 Stressful Things to Start Ignoring

Life is too short to stress yourself with things that
don’t even deserve to be an issue in your life.

When I was nine-years-old, my dad came into my room one Sunday afternoon with teary eyes and told me that we might lose our house. He explained that he had been struggling to find a job, and if he didn’t find one soon we would not be able to afford to live in our house anymore. I could tell he was sad, angry, and worried all at once. Without thinking about it, I hugged my dad and said, “It’s just a house. I don’t care where we live, as long as we’re together.”

My dad, who’s now 70, loves to reminisce about this story. He says my innocent, sincere response brought perspective to the stressful predicament our family was facing at the time. Suddenly, he realized the sky wasn’t falling. We were all healthy and capable of getting through this together. And we did.

As we journey through life, so many of us let stress get the best of us. Don’t let this happen to you. Don’t let your mind stir up and put up with unnecessary drama. Do your best, take small steps forward, keep things in perspective, and ignore the following…

1. Blatant negativity.

Keep calm and think positively. Evolve your being and inspire yourself and others. Say it out loud, “I am sorry negativity, I have no time for you. I have far too many positive things to do.” Take the next 24 hours and every time you start [Read more…]

7 Smart Ways to Deal with Toxic People

12.08.2013 by Marc Chernoff // 248 Comments

7 Smart Ways to Deal with Toxic People

Don’t let toxic people rent space in your head.
Raise the rent and get them out of there.

Surviving the ups, downs, and lightning storms of other people’s moodiness can be quite a challenge. It’s important, though, to remember that some moody, negative people may be going through a difficult stage in their lives. They may be ill, chronically worried, or lacking what they need in terms of love and emotional support. Such people need to be listened to, supported, and cared for (although whatever the cause of their moodiness and negativity, you may still need to protect yourself from their behavior at times).

But there’s another type of moody, negative behavior: that of the toxic bully, who will use his or her mood swings to intimidate and manipulate. It’s this aspect of moodiness that inflicts enduring abuse and misery. If you observe these people closely, you will notice that their attitude is overly self-referential. Their relationships are prioritized according to how each one can be used to meet their selfish needs. This is the kind of toxic behavior I want to look at in this post.

I’m a firm believer that toxic mood swings (like chain letter emails) should not be inflicted on one person by another, under any circumstances. So how can you best manage the fallout from other people’s relentless toxicity?

1. Move on without them.

If you know someone who insists on destructively dictating the emotional atmosphere, then be clear: they are toxic. If you are suffering because of their attitude, and your compassion, patience, advice, and general attentiveness doesn’t seem to help them, and they don’t seem to care one bit, then ask yourself, “Do I need this person in my life?”

When you delete toxic people from your environment it becomes a lot easier to breathe. If the circumstances warrant it, leave these people behind and move on when you must. Seriously, be strong and know when enough is enough! Letting [Read more…]