Archives for January 2014

50 Things to Let Go of Before Your Next Birthday

01.26.2014 by Angel Chernoff // 51 Comments

50 Things to Let Go of Before Your Next Birthday

When the pain of holding on is worse than
the pain of letting go, it is time to let go.

In the fall of 2002, after a stressful day at work, I snapped at Marc and locked myself in our home office to work on a web application I had been coding on the side. Marc’s grandmother, who was living with us at the time, knocked on the office door a few minutes later. “What?” I screamed. She didn’t answer. When I opened the door in frustration, she smiled and said, “Honey, someday you will think it’s funny that you were so darn serious today.”

Boy was she right. And now, every time I catch myself entering a bout of stress-induced irritability, I take a deep breath and do my best to let it GO. Today, I encourage you to do the same.

Truth be told, today is the oldest you’ve ever been and the youngest you will ever be again. It’s kind of scary, but it’s true. If there was ever a perfect day to start letting go of the needless drama and stress that’s been holding you back, that day is today. And since we often use our birthdays as mile markers to track our personal growth and accomplishments, I challenge you to this:

Before your next birthday…

Let go of what isn’t helping your soul smile and grow. – Life is to be enjoyed, not endured. Follow a path that moves you. You are always free to do something that makes you smile.
Let go of the baggage you know you need to leave behind. – As we grow older and wiser, we begin to realize what we need and what we need to leave behind. Sometimes walking away is a step forward.
Let go of feeling like you aren’t making progress fast enough. – No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying.
Let go of the idea that you have too much to lose. – In the end, you won’t regret the things you’ve done nearly as much as the things you didn’t do when you had the chance. I’d rather have a life of “OH WELLS” than a life of “WHAT IFS.” Wouldn’t you agree? [Read more…]

7 Signs You’re Hanging With the Wrong Crowd

01.22.2014 by Marc Chernoff // 51 Comments

7 Signs You Are Hanging With the Wrong Crowd

You will only ever be as great as the people you surround yourself with; so be brave enough to let go of those who keep bringing you down.

Your happiness and self-worth shouldn’t be entirely dependent on others. But the truth is, personal relationships do have an influence on how you feel, and that includes how you feel about yourself.

An old college friend, Axel, and I grabbed some coffee this morning to catch up. About halfway through our conversation he admitted to me that he was really stressed out. The more I listened to his story, the more I realized that many of his relationships felt like a burden to him. The people he had surrounded himself with weren’t supportive in the least. But it was a burden to which he’d become so accustomed, he didn’t even know he’d been carrying it until he spoke to me and was able to lay down the heavy load for a while. The pain of relationships that aren’t working are like a subtle background ache – we don’t notice how much they hurt because we’ve grown so used to the constant discomfort.

How have you been feeling lately? How are your relationships going? The two can be more intertwined than we often realize. As soon as I suspected Axel’s relationships might be having an impact on his happiness and self-esteem, I asked him a question that made him think:

What should a healthy relationship provide for the people in it?

Truth be told, life is way too wonderful and short to waste time with people who don’t treat you right. So surround yourself with people who inspire you to smile. People who help you up when you’re down. People who would never take advantage of you. People who are honest and genuinely care. They are the ones worth keeping in your life. Everyone else is just passing through.

If you feel like your relationships are bringing you down, here are some signs you may be hanging with the wrong crowd:

1. They say you don’t have what it takes.

Never let someone’s opinion of you wash away your inner strength and spirit. Never sacrifice who you are or what you aspire to be because someone else sees [Read more…]

9 Ways to Never Regret Another Day of Your Life

01.19.2014 by Angel Chernoff // 52 Comments

9 Ways to Never Regret Another Day of Your Life

“If only…” These two little words paired together
create one of the saddest phrases imaginable.

Last week, in the last few hours of my cousin Jamie’s life, she told me her only regret was that she didn’t appreciate every year with the same passion and purpose that she has had in the last two years, after she was diagnosed with terminal cancer. “I’ve accomplished so much recently,” she said. “If I had only known, I would have started sooner.”

I shared this story, along with some advice on avoiding regret, in one of our recent “subscribers only” email newsletters. Within 24 hours we received nearly 500 replies. This inspired Marc and I to revisit the content, tailor it to some of the most popular questions and commentary we received, and share an enhanced version of our advice on avoiding regret with you here.

Honestly, my cousin’s words and passing have been a true wake-up call for us. “Life is short” is only a cliché until you witness it firsthand.

You really have to make your journey count every single day, because the distance we each get to travel is a mystery. One day, hopefully many moons from now, you will inevitably find yourself close to the end, and thinking about the beginning. TODAY is that beginning. TODAY is life. Right now you have a priceless opportunity! Forget the past. Forget your age. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. At the end of it, let there be no excuses, no explanations, and no regrets.

Here are nine ideas to get you there…

1. Be the leader of your own journey.

Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be? Stop living for other people and their opinions. Be true to YOU.

There are far too many capable people who don’t pursue their dreams and goals because they let their fears and others talk them out of it. They give up before they even try, and simply let life’s river flow them downstream. Choose to be stronger than that. Choose to swim upstream when you have to. Choose to do the things in life that move you. Let others lead small lives. Let others argue over small things. Let others cry over small wounds. Let others leave their future in someone else’s hands. But not YOU.

2. Take calculated risks.

There is no excuse for being an amateur forever. Life is short. The day is rapidly [Read more…]

10 Places Unhappy People Search for Happiness

01.15.2014 by Marc Chernoff // 48 Comments

10 Places Unhappy People Search for Happiness

“I’ve got nothing to do today but smile.”
?Paul Simon

This past holiday season Angel and I stayed at a hotel near her parent’s house in South Florida. On Christmas Eve we met a family of six who were staying at the same hotel. We saw them relaxing in the lobby by the Christmas tree, sharing stories and laughing. So on our way out, Angel and I wished them a happy holiday season and asked them where they were from. “Oh, we’re from here,” the mother said. “Our house burned down to the ground yesterday, but miraculously, all of us made it out safely. And that makes this a very merry Christmas.”

Her words and her family’s optimistic attitude made me smile. They reminded me that the most fulfilling moments in life come when we finally find the courage to let go of what we can’t change. And that when life gives us every reason to be negative, we must think of one good reason to be positive, because there’s always something worth smiling about.

Truth be told, when people are perpetually unhappy it’s often because they are searching for happiness in the wrong places. They look for it…

1. In the fantasy of an easy life.

Life is tough, but you are tougher. Pain makes you stronger. Facing fear makes you braver. Mistakes and heartbreak make you wiser. Sometimes things have to go very wrong before they can be right. Sometimes you have to go through the worst, to arrive at your best.

Your journey isn’t supposed to be easy, it’s supposed to be worth it. To never struggle is to never grow. It doesn’t matter what’s happened or what you’ve done; what matters is what you choose to do from here. Accept the circumstances, learn from them, and move on. Letting go is often a step forward. Sometimes you have to walk away from what you thought you wanted to find what you truly need and deserve.

2. In a past that no longer exists.

You are changing. The universe around you is changing. Just because something was right for you in the past doesn’t mean it still is. This could be a [Read more…]

10 Things Happy Families Do Differently

01.12.2014 by Marc Chernoff // 42 Comments

10 Things Happy Families Do Differently

“I sustain myself with the love of family.”
?Maya Angelou

Last night, an old friend from high school – a hometown success story and entrepreneur who owns and operates a large publicly traded company – a man whom I have a great deal of respect for – came over to our home for dinner. After a delicious meal, he and I chatted for a couple hours in the family room and caught up on old times. And as we wrapped things up, he said, “I admire you. I admire the love in this home – the obvious love between you and Angel. I admire the close relationships you’ve built and nurtured. When I’m here it feels like I’m part of the family. Nurturing a happy family is one of the things I never got around to. So it was great to see it, feel it, and be a part of it tonight. Thank you.”

When I sat down to write this morning, my friend’s remarks immediately came to mind. Which got me thinking… What does nurturing a happy family really mean? What are some things happy families do differently?

Here are some thoughts to consider:

1. Every day, every member chooses to be part of the family.

First and foremost, family isn’t always blood. They’re the people in your life who appreciate having you in theirs – the ones who encourage you to improve in healthy and exciting ways, and who not only embrace who you are now, but also embrace and embody who you want to be. Family members can be your best friends. And best friends, whether or not they’re related to you by blood, can be your family.

Family is built with love; it’s not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and formal adoption documents. Families grow from the heart, through mutual love and respect. The only time family becomes nullified is when the ties in the heart are cut. If you cut the ties, these people are not your family. If you build the ties, these people are your family. So build and maintain ties with the right people and nurture them with love every day.

2. Family members go out of their way for each other.

Family bonds are tied with true love, and true love involves attention, awareness, discipline, effort, and being able to care about someone and sacrifice for them, continuously, in countless petty little unsexy ways, every day. You put your arms [Read more…]