Archives for October 2015

5 Easy Ways to Uncomplicate Your Thoughts

10.28.2015 by Angel Chernoff // 32 Comments

5 Easy Ways to Uncomplicate Your Thoughts
by Farnoosh Brock

Simplicity in life is about subtracting the obvious and multiplying the meaningful.

Simplicity is not just about decluttering your garage or cleaning out your closets. As much as I love clean, well-organized closets and plenty of open space in my garage, there’s more to simplicity than what meets the eye. Simplicity can go much deeper than what is out in the open for the world to see.

There is this other aspect of simplicity, the one that reveals the needless mental clutter and internal “junk” you’re always carrying around with you. This kind of simplicity brings awareness to the self-sabotage you allow in the space between your ears.

When we feel overwhelmed or pulled in multiple directions in life, the situation may seem outside our control, but what if we believed for a moment that it is completely within our reach to shift into a place of peace and power?

The culprit is inside us. It is woven into our human habits, blocking our path to simplicity. The culprit is our tendency to complicate everything!

Most of us are brilliant at complicating the simple. We have anxiety and stress in our lives from adding pressure where none is necessary. We go on and on to describe a simple concept. We write longer emails, text messages or social media comments than necessary to explain simple points. We have heated discussions with our loved ones over insignificant issues. And the list goes on.

If you are doing any of these things, you are suffering from the constant form of mental clutter that is taking up unnecessary space in your mind. But you are not alone in this struggle, and you are not alone in your desire for less complication and more simplicity in your life.

So let’s get to the “how.” Here are five ways of outsmarting your own mental clutter with the power of simplicity. The more frequently you apply these strategies, the faster you will uncomplicate your thoughts, and the closer your life will get to the essence of simplicity:

1. Question your stories.

You know what they say, don’t believe everything you hear nor everything you read. Don’t believe the gossip columns in the magazine, the doom and gloom predictions from your co-workers, or the “shocking news” that you hear on TV … until you have verified it.

Well, the same concept applies to your inside world – your thoughts.

We all have stories about [Read more…]

9 Things All Healthy Couples Do

10.21.2015 by Angel Chernoff // 30 Comments

9 Things All Healthy Couples Do
by Tony DiLorenzo

Love is not about how much you say “I love you,” but how much you prove that it’s true.

Healthy couples and lifelong fulfilling relationships do not just happen by accident. They are created consciously over time through mindful, mutual effort and sacrifice.

It starts with showing your partner affection today in a dozen little ways – searching for small consistent gestures that alone feel tiny but add up to a truly meaningful and personal relationship experience.

It’s about stringing the little wins of each day together to create a week, a month, a year, and then decades of shared joy. That’s right, lifelong health and happiness as a couple is built through daily devotion. Here’s what my extensive experience coaching hundreds of married couples has told me about what healthy couples do differently:

1. They commit to digging up the diamonds in the rough.

It can sometimes be a daunting task to see the good in your partner when the days are long, the kids are screaming, and the bank account is looking barren. With the turbulence sent our way by everyday life, shining a spotlight on the things that drive us crazy about our partners can easily become an unconscious bad habit. But you must flip the switch on this!

Instead of gawking at their faults, make it a game to [Read more…]

8 Ways to Be Emotionally Strong in Your Relationships

10.18.2015 by Marc Chernoff // 42 Comments

8 Ways to Be Emotionally Strong in Your Relationships

“Nothing can dim the light which shines from within.”
? Maya Angelou

I’ll be the first to admit that I used to be emotionally weak in my relationships – not in a silly, desperate way, but in the same way that many of us are. I wanted somebody to make me happy, I blamed others for my sadness, and I sought to fulfill my emotional needs through other people’s constant validation.

This behavior created three distinct emotional difficulties in my life:

I had lots of relationship problems, because if the other person’s behavior wasn’t satisfying my needs, I’d get upset and resent it.
I’d often be unhappy, because I was looking for all my happiness outside of myself, expecting others to somehow fill my self-love deficit.
I felt helpless and stuck in many cases, because if other people are supposed to fulfill my needs and make me happy, then what happens when they don’t? What could I do if they decided to hurt me instead? I hadn’t a clue.

Fast-forward to today, and it’s clear that I’ve spent the better part of the past two decades turning things around and cultivating my emotional strength. And it has made a world of difference – my relationships are healthier and I’m happier.

When Angel and I began our blog and our coaching practice several years ago, countless people started coming to us who were suffering from the same kinds of emotional weaknesses I used to have. So I began sharing the strategies that helped me heal and, not surprisingly, they worked for these people too. We’ve refined them gradually over the years into a very useful, simple process.

The first step…

Test Your Emotional Strength

Are you emotionally weak and dependent on others for your happiness? Ask yourself these simple questions: [Read more…]

14 Morning Mantras that Will Calm Your Restless Mind

10.14.2015 by Marc Chernoff // 40 Comments

The morning is enormously important. It is the foundation from which the day is built. How you choose to spend your morning can be used to predict what kind of day you’re going to have.

When our stressed out coaching students whom have way too much on their plates come to us and ask, “What should I do next?” we always start with the same simple suggestion:

It’s time to “ … ”

That blank space denoted by “ … ” is no mistake. That space represents silence.

Silence is soothing. Silence is peace. Silence is divine.

The more silent you are, the more you can hear yourself think, and the more you can help yourself heal. Somewhere deep inside, you already know this is true. Think for a moment …

Have you ever heard the silence just before the sun peaks over the horizon? Or the hush of a country road at sunset? Or the peaceful calm just after a heavy rainstorm ends? Or perhaps you know the silence in the back of your local city library, or the eager pause of an auditorium full of people when the lights dim for the main event, or, best of all, the moment just after the front door shuts and you suddenly have the whole house to yourself?

Each silent moment is different, yet all are beautiful if you listen carefully. The key is to leave enough space in your day to enjoy the space between the commotions.

Take a break. Think quietly. Just be and breathe.

The easiest time to create some extra space for silence, I have found, is first thing in the morning. I make it a point to start the day in a peaceful, mindful emotional state.

Too many books and courses on self-improvement act like we’re robots, and completely overlook the enormous power of our emotions. The less frenzied emotions we have at the start of the day, the less we will have all day.

When we start the day in a calm, mindful state, it’s easy to focus and get the right things done. And that’s where the morning mantras below come into play.

Tomorrow morning, I challenge you to wake up five minutes earlier, read the first mantra, memorize it, close your eyes and repeat it to yourself silently for 60 seconds. Practice this quiet morning ritual for two full weeks using the remaining mantras, and see how doing so affects your mindset.

[Read more…]

10 Ways to Free Your Mind When You’re Feeling Stuck

10.11.2015 by Angel Chernoff // 167 Comments

by Thanh Pham of Asian Efficiency

If you’re stuck and you don’t know how to rise, don’t look outside yourself. Look inside.

Have you ever felt like you were racing around in circles without making much forward progress? I know I have, many times. In the past I caught myself feeling stuck more often than I wanted to admit, and eventually I knew I needed to find a new roadmap. I was feeling utterly depressed and trapped by the same old problems and scenery. I needed to free myself!

The first thing I learned as I struggled to find my way is this:

Fear is the cage that keeps you stuck. Faith is the key that sets you free.

And the second thing I learned is that getting unstuck isn’t just a single action – it’s a process – a life-changing journey. And all journeys begin with a call to adventure, and this call is different for all of us.

Here are ten strategies (“calls”) that I’ve successfully implemented over the years to help clients and myself get unstuck, mentally and physically, even when doing so seemed impossible.