Archives for May 2016

One Hard Thing You Have to Do to Be Happy, Healthy and Successful

05.28.2016 by Marc Chernoff // 40 Comments

One Hard Thing You Have to Do to Be Happy, Healthy and Successful

Think about the most common problems we deal with in our lives – from laziness to lack of exercise to unhealthy diets to procrastination, and so on.

In most cases, problems like these are not caused not by a physical ailment, but by a weakness of the mind – a weakness that urges us to avoid discomfort.

Discomfort is a form of pain, but it isn’t a deep pain – it’s a shallow one. It’s the feeling you get when you’ve stepped outside of your comfort zone. The idea of exercising in many people’s minds, for example, brings discomfort – so they don’t do it. Eating green vegetables brings discomfort too. So does meditating, or focusing on a difficult task, or saying no to others. Of course, these are just examples, because different people find discomfort in different things, but you get the general idea.

The bottom line is most of us don’t want to be uncomfortable. So we run from discomfort constantly. The problem with this is that, by running from discomfort, we are constrained to partake in only the activities and opportunities within our comfort zones. And since our comfort zones are relativity small, we miss out on most of life’s greatest and healthiest experiences, and we get stuck in a debilitating cycle.

Let’s use diet and exercise as an example…

First, we become unhealthy because eating healthy food and exercising feels uncomfortable, so we opt for comfort food and mindless TV watching instead.
But then, being unhealthy is also uncomfortable, so we seek to distract ourselves from the reality of our unhealthy bodies by eating more unhealthy food and watching more unhealthy entertainment and going to the mall to shop for things we don’t really want or need. And our discomfort just gets worse.

Amazingly, the simple act of accepting a little discomfort every day, and taking it one small step at a time, can solve most of our common problems, and make our minds happier, healthier and stronger in the long run.

Now, let me give you some examples of how I’ve experienced this in my own life…

Strengthening the Mind… One Small, Hard Step at a Time

Years ago, when I was incredibly [Read more…]

12 Mindfulness Quotes that Will Change the Way You Spend Your Life

05.22.2016 by Marc Chernoff // 45 Comments

12 Mindfulness Quotes that Will Change the Way You Spend Your Life

Over the past couple of years, as I’ve watched my son grow from a baby into a remarkable little boy, I’ve learned that a young child can teach an adult three key things:

to be happy for no specific reason at all
to always be curious and engaged with whatever is going on in the moment
to leverage all the available resources to get as much as you possibly can of what you desire 😉

It’s easy to see how the first two points reflect certain aspects of mindfulness – choosing to be happy and present. But, in my case, the third point is the most powerful mindfulness lesson of them all. You see, in our household, the third point often means Mac is begging ME to be more mindful. Because 90% of the time what he desires more than anything else in the world is more of daddy’s undivided attention – my full presence with him.

Yes, my little Mac has taught me a thing or two about the importance of being mindful and present. In fact, he has several unique ways of calling me out whenever I’m doing the opposite. Let me give you one simple, yet profound, example:

If Mac and I are playing in his bedroom and I walk out of the room for a few moments to do something, Mac will look around and shout, “Daddy, where are you?”

Seems like a logical response, right? But here’s the kicker…

If I never leave the room while we’re playing, but my iPhone vibrates with a random notification that distracts me for a few moments, Mac will look directly at me and shout, “Daddy, where are you?”

In both cases, Mac knows I’m not present. To him, my emotionally absent, distracted mindset is akin to me getting up and physically walking out of the room on him.

When I realized this, I made a change.

Recenter Your Mind – 12 Quotations

As you can tell, even though I’ve been studying and practicing mindfulness for the better part of a decade, I’m [Read more…]

20 Things People in Toxic Relationships Refuse to Do

05.15.2016 by Angel Chernoff // 38 Comments

22 Things People in Unhealthy Relationships Refuse to Do

Every long-term relationship is a commitment that will be tested in the most vulnerable areas of the human spirit – a commitment that will force you to make some incredibly difficult choices. It’s a commitment that demands you deal with your lust, your envy, your greed, your pride, your past, your patience, your craving to control, your temper, and countless other temptations begging to be wedged between you and another.

Unfortunately, not everyone who’s in a long-term relationship accepts this level of commitment. So they cut corners. And their relationship pays the ultimate price – it gradually grows toxic.

Over the past decade, Marc and I have coached hundreds of course students who were suffering from various toxic relationship situations. Our extensive coaching in this area has given us keen insight into the corners people commonly cut in their relationships – the things they refuse to do – that ultimately creates toxicity. Below I have done my best to distill this insight into 20 simple bullet points.

This is a quick look at some of the most prevalent things people in toxic relationships refuse to do, and some good ideas on how to do things differently in your relationships:

They refuse to make time. – Mistreatment based on lack of attention damages relationships far more often than intentional abuse. There’s nothing more vital to the bond you share with someone than simply being present with them.
They refuse to uphold the truth. – Trust is the foundation of a relationship, and when trust is broken it takes time and a willingness on the part of both people involved to repair it and heal. All too often I’ll hear a course student say something like, “I didn’t tell her but I didn’t lie about it, either.” This statement is a contradiction, as omissions are lies. If you’re covering up your tracks in any way, it’s only a matter of time before the truth is revealed and trust in the relationship is broken. Speak the truth, no matter what the consequences. Being honest is the only way to be at peace with yourself and those you care about.
They refuse to stop condemning and attacking. – Complaints are fine. Disagreements are fine too. These are natural, focused reactions to a person’s decisions or behavior. But when complaints and disagreements snowball into global attacks on the person, and not on their decisions or behavior, this spells trouble. For example: “They didn’t call me when they said they would because they forgot, but because they’re a horrible, wretched human being.” [Read more…]

12 Quotes About Life that Will Make You Rethink Your Priorities

05.08.2016 by Marc Chernoff // 37 Comments

12 Quotes About Life that Will Make You Rethink Your Priorities

Take a moment to pause and remember who you truly are. Take the time to reflect on the things that have real and lasting meaning in your life.

Over the past decade, Angel and I have I paid more and more attention to the beauty and practicality of living a simpler life. A life uncluttered by most of the chaos people fill their lives with, leaving us with space for what truly matters. A life that isn’t constant busyness, worrying and stress, but instead contemplation, creation, and connection with people and projects we love.

By redefining our priorities, and building healthy rituals to back them up, we’ve literally been able to change our lives. And this is now a healthy practice we coach our course students though every single day as well.

Through our coaching, Angel and I have learned that the shift in mindset required for living a simpler, happier life is something many people struggle with. They become so accustomed to their lifestyle’s busyness, stress and drama that they actually identify with these disorders as being a part of who they are. This, of course, is not the truth.

The truth is, other animals make their livings by simply living, but as human beings we often associate “making a living” with working like crazy in the most hectic ways imaginable – filling nearly every waking minute of our lives with something that must be done. The busier we are and the more drama there is to chat about (online and offline) at the end of each day, the more “full” life seems… at least for a little while… until we crash and shatter ourselves.

If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed and stressed out a lot lately, it would be wise to rethink and rework your priorities.

This morning, after finishing up a call with a new course student who’s working diligently to simplify various aspects of her life and career, I’ve been reflecting on some of the key truths Angel and I live by, and subsequently pass on to our students, that have collectively had a profound impact on our lives. I’ve distilled these truths into twelve easy-to-digest quotations for you, in hopes that you may find value in them today…

Overcommitting is the biggest mistake most people make against living a simpler life. It’s tempting to fill in every waking minute of the day with to-do list tasks or distractions. Don’t do this to yourself. Leave space. [Read more…]

One Kind Gesture that Will Change Your Life

05.04.2016 by Marc Chernoff // 42 Comments

The Most Powerful Secret to Thriving in Life, Love and Business

Angel and I receive dozens of emails every week from new course students who generally want to know how to thrive in life, love and business. They share their personal stories with us and then ask questions like:

How can I attract more positive opportunities into my life?
What can I do to improve my relationship with my husband/wife?
How can I advance my career/business?
etc.

Obviously, there are no one-size-fits-all answers to questions like these, because each person who asks them has a unique life situation. There is, however, one piece of advice Angel and I universally share with these students regardless of their situation – and we honestly believe it’s the greatest secret to success in all walks of life.

Want to know the secret?

It’s time for a quick true story…

In the early Spring of 1974, the now world-renowned [Read more…]