Archives for June 2016

10 Quick Mantras that Will Motivate You When You Need it Most

06.29.2016 by Marc Chernoff // 38 Comments

10 Quick Mantras that Will Motivate You When You Need it Most

It’s not what you say to everyone else that determines your life – it’s what you whisper to yourself that has the greatest power.

The most common problem with motivation, often not understood until later in life, is that when we say we’re looking for motivation, it implies that our motivation is somehow hiding behind a bush or under a rock somewhere. But that’s far from the truth.

The truth is, our motivation comes from doing the right things. When our efforts have meaning behind them it motivates us to take the next step. For me – and we’re all different – I am motivated primarily by two core ambitions:

Knowing more today than I knew yesterday, especially as doing so relates to meaningful projects and desires
Easing the pain of others

Living by these two core ambitions on a daily basis, and regularly reflecting on the progress I’m making, invigorates me, personally and professionally.

That’s really the most important aspect of generating long-term motivation: knowing what your core ambitions are (figuring out what truly drives you) and living by them. Think about it: Underneath all the things you say you have to do, at the end of each day, what is the meaning and value you hope to create?

Once you’ve got that down, and you’re on a meaningful path, a pertinent question remains:

What’s the easiest way to motivate yourself through life’s inevitable moments of negativity and discouragement?

Truth be told, in the near-term there will always be little stumbles along the way – those bad days when you’re tripping over a rocky road, and all you need is a quick pick-me-up to re-center your mind and regain your footing. It’s really important to be prepared for these situations too. Because, as human beings, we tend to be generous with our own nonsense and pessimism. And while it may seem logical, or just easier, to feed our inner negativity, please remember that the diet we need to be on is a mindful and positive one. Be cautious with what you feed your mind and soul – watch your self-talk. Fuel yourself with sensible thoughts and let that fuel propel you into positive action.

When you’re feeling dispirited, and lacking the mindset you need to step forward, reflect on the mantras below. Over the years, Angel and I have worked with hundreds of course students who have successfully used these mantras to fuel their positivity and motivation on the toughest of days. So pick one (or more) that’s relevant to your present life situation, and repeat it in your mind until it sinks in…

Learn to value yourself, which means: fight for your happiness and peace of mind. Tell yourself, “I am ENOUGH!” anytime you begin to feel like you aren’t. What we do in life ultimately comes out of who we believe we are. [Read more…]

One Daily Gratitude Ritual that Will Change the Way You Think

06.22.2016 by Marc Chernoff // 27 Comments

One Daily Gratitude Ritual that Will Change the Way You Think

The secret to being grateful is no secret. You choose to be grateful. Then you do it again and again. If you forget, begin again.

I remember that rainy summer evening – shortly after Angel and I lost two loved ones to illness, lost our livelihood in a layoff, and ultimately lost sight of the goodness that remained in our lives – when I found myself lying down on a tile floor, alone in the dark, just thinking.

Angel and I rarely spoke openly about anything meaningful during that period of time, mostly because I was withdrawn. I felt helpless and essentially depressed about what had happened. I was lost in the darkness of my own negative thinking.

But something shifted inside me as I was lying on that tile floor.

As I looked up and out the open window next to me, the moon suddenly broke through the clouds and illuminated the dark room I was in. Then, within seconds, a light breeze started blowing the white window curtains inward and over me. As the curtains fluttered in the air four feet over my body, I smiled. It was a beautiful moment. And without thinking twice, I whispered out loud, “Life is still a miracle to be grateful for.”

Angel walked into the room at that exact moment and whispered, “I agree.”

She ducked under the curtains and snuggled into me on the floor. After a couple moments of shared silence, we decided to list some things off the top of our minds that we were grateful for, despite our struggles.

Our list of gratitude looked something like this:

We had each other
We had parents, extended family, and some friends who loved us
We were reasonably healthy
Most of our family members and friends were reasonably healthy
We had some savings
We had shelter, water and food
We could experience and appreciate the beauty of the moonlight illuminating this dark room, and the breeze making the curtains dance

And the list went on, of course, but you get the gist. Even when everything seemed to be wrong, we had a lot going right – a lot to be grateful for.

That night I resolved to change my thinking and make gratitude a daily ritual in my life.

A Gratitude Ritual… A New Perspective

Nowadays, I spend 20 minutes every evening [Read more…]

One Perspective Shift that Will Turn Your Deepest Scars into Your Greatest Opportunity

06.19.2016 by Angel Chernoff // 40 Comments

One Perspective Shift that will Turn Your Deepest Scars into Your Greatest Opportunity
by John O’Leary

“If you look the right way, you can see that the whole world is a garden.”
? Frances Hodgson Burnett

As a family, we never discussed the fire that burned down our house and nearly took my life. We endured it, survived it, and moved past it. We chose not to be defined by it.

That is, until my parents sat in the first row of a church on November 22, 2003.

Their oldest son, Jim, stood on the altar in a tuxedo, the best man for their younger (and better-looking) son, John.

Watching their boys together, with their four daughters as bridesmaids, and a gorgeous woman in white named Beth about to join the family, they realized something for the first time: The terrible fire from years earlier wasn’t the end. The tragedy we’d endured as a family decades ago had a happy ending.

The fire did not take away the life their little boy could make for himself. Contrarily, it led perfectly to this place, this church, this altar, this union, this day.

The therapy and surgeries and amputations and scars and challenges culminated in a blowout celebration. It was miracle upon miracle upon miracle…looking back over the [Read more…]

7 Powerful Mantras to Stop You from Overreacting and Arguing with People

06.15.2016 by Marc Chernoff // 35 Comments

7 Powerful Mantras to Stop You from Overreacting and Arguing with People

Over the past several years, there’s a way of being that I’ve gradually been cultivating in myself – I’ve been taming my tendency to overreact and argue with people when their behavior doesn’t match my expectations.

As human beings, we all have an idea in our heads about how things are supposed to be, and sadly this is what often messes our relationships up the most. We all get frustrated when things don’t play out the way we expect them to, and people don’t behave like they’re “supposed” to. We expect our spouses and children to act a certain way, our friends to always agree with us, strangers to be less difficult, and so on and so forth.

And when reality hits us, and everyone seems to be doing the opposite of what we want them to do, we overreact – frustration, stress, arguments, tears, etc.

So what can we do about this?

Breathe…

When you feel like your lid is about to blow, take [Read more…]

10 Things to Remember When You’ve Lost Your Motivation

06.12.2016 by Marc Chernoff // 37 Comments

10 Things to Remember When You've Lost Your Motivation

The biggest and most complex obstacle you’ll ever have to overcome is your mind. If you can overcome that, you can overcome anything.

Have you ever lost your motivation?

I know exactly how you feel.

Many moons ago, there was a time when my motivation hit rock bottom. I would look around and see others motivating themselves to do things simply by knowing that these things needed to be done. But not me. For me, motivation was an esoteric, intimidating game where I’d try to make myself do something while my mind simultaneously avoided doing it. If I won, I’d have to do something I didn’t really want to do. And if I lost, I’d be one step closer to ruining the rest of my entire life. At least that’s how I felt. And I never really knew whether I was going to win or lose until the very last minute.

Obviously, I was not being mindful.

The good news is, with daily practice, I’ve come a long way from those rock bottom days of haphazard motivation.

Nowadays, Angel and I coach students on a daily basis who are struggling to motivate themselves in various life situations. And, fittingly, we guide them through many of the same proven strategies I’ve learned and practiced over the years to get my mindset and motivation from the lowest of lows to the highest of highs.

One of those strategies involves mindful daily reflection.

The truth is, motivation can be fleeting, which is why we need to positively recharge our mindset on a regular basis. I was reminded of this a few minutes ago when I received an email from a new course student that opened with:

“I feel drained! I’m stuck… with worry and overwhelm and frustration… and just a general lack of enthusiasm! Any advice? What should I reflect on or try to remember when I’ve completely lost my motivation?”

Today, with our student’s permission, I’ve decided to answer this question publicly, because I know we all need these reminders sometimes. Here are some key things I reflect on regularly to support my practice of nurturing a more mindful, motivated mindset…

It’s not the weight that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it. You can use pain, frustration and inconvenience to motivate you rather than annoy you. You are in control of the way you look at life. Beautiful things happen when you distance yourself from negative thinking. [Read more…]