STARTING NOW: NO shortcuts. NO quick fixes. NO blaming others. NO “I’ll do it tomorrows.” NO MORE EXCUSES!
The mind is a wonderful thing. It’s also an excuse-making machine that frequently tries to convince us not to take actions we know are good for us. And this prevents many positive changes from taking place in our lives.
I’ve had to learn to watch these excuses very carefully in order to make the positive changes I’ve made in my life: a healthier diet, regular exercise, meditation, more sleep, daily writing, better planning, less procrastination, more focus, etc.
If I hadn’t learned about these excuses, and how to suppress them, I would never have succeeded in making these positive changes. In fact, until I knew better, I had failed countless times when I was young because my mind’s deceptive tendencies used to get the best of me.
So why does the mind mess with us and make irrational excuses?
Because the mind wants comfort, that’s why. It’s afraid of discomfort, pressure and change. The mind is absorbed in its comfort zone, and anytime we try to stretch that zone too far, for too long, the mind tries desperately to get back to ground zero at any cost—including sacrificing our long-term health, happiness and success.
So let’s expose 10 of the cowardly mind’s most damaging excuses once and for all…
Excuse #1: I can’t do it.
It seems too difficult at first, so you think you can’t stick to the positive change you’re making. You don’t believe in yourself enough to take another step. This is a common excuse that can be countered by looking at the fact that other people no more capable than you have done it.
For example, my 60-year-old next-door neighbor ran a marathon a little before I started training for my first marathon, and so I told myself, “If she can do it, so can I!” And I was right. Truth be told, the only person who can tell you “I can’t” is you. If you hear those words echoing in the back of your mind, tune them out. Realize that your doubts and your faith have something in common—they both ask you to believe in something you can’t see. You simply have to decide which one you want to believe.
Excuse #2: They can do it, but that doesn’t apply to me because they have it better than me.
Just because someone else can, doesn’t mean you can, right? You look for reasons they can do it but you can’t—maybe he’s an internet entrepreneur or freelance writer because he has no kids. Maybe she’s way fitter than I am, so she can run a marathon. Maybe she doesn’t have all the work and family obligations I have, or has a supportive spouse, or doesn’t have bad knees. OK, fine, it’s easy to find excuses: but look at all the other people who also have considerable obstacles and have done it anyway.
Marc and I have a family, and have dealt with significant loss in our lives, and still managed to succeed on many fronts. And just as we’ve turned things around for ourselves, we know hundreds of other people who’ve done the same. Through a decade of life coaching, we’ve witnessed people reinventing themselves at all ages – 48-year olds starting families, 57-year-olds graduating from college for the first time, 71-year-olds starting successful businesses, and so forth. And stories abound of people with disabilities or illnesses who overcame their obstacles to achieve great things. Your obstacles can be overcome.
Excuse #3: I’m stuck because I don’t have enough time to make changes.
Have you ever met a happy, successful person who regularly avoids responsibility, blames and points fingers and makes excuses for their unsatisfying life? Me either. The truth is, you write your own destiny through the choices you make every day. You become what you repeatedly do. It is more important to know where you are going and why, than to get there quickly. In fact, the most important thing in life is knowing what the most important things in life are, and prioritizing them accordingly.
Most of us spend too much time on urgent things and not enough time on important things. So do yourself a favor and implement these three action steps every time you’re building or sorting your to-do list:
- Think about the difference between what is urgent and what is important.
- Review all the obligations on your list.
- Do what’s important first. (Read The ONE Thing.)
Excuse #4: It’ll be too hard because I can’t get by without _____.
Fill in the blank: I need my wine, my cheese, my sweets, my TV shows, my ten hours of sleep, my big house, my fancy wardrobe, etc. These are luxuries we convince ourselves we can’t live without, so we can justify not making positive changes like eating healthier or exercising daily or saving money or simplifying our lives or building a profitable side hustle. And like I said, I’m not immune either—in the past I’ve made these excuses myself, but they all turned out to be lies. I didn’t need any of these things in my life, and believing that I did was only getting in the way of the positive changes I was capable of creating for myself.
Excuse #5: Life is meant to be easier and enjoyed more.
Sure, I agree that life should be enjoyed (as most people would) but the problem is that the idea that life should ALWAYS be easy and enjoyable is used to justify all kinds of lazy behavior. Might as well sit on the couch and scarf down those cookies, because hey, life is meant to be enjoyed, right? Nope. You can do without junk food and still enjoy life. You can exercise and enjoy it. You can give up a lot of comfort in your life and not lose a thing. In fact, the path of least resistance is often the path of least reward.
You need to do hard things. There are no shortcuts to any place worth going. As Einstein once said, “Genius is 1% talent and 99% percent hard work.” You must run to be a runner. You must write to be a writer. You must actively work on a business venture to learn how to run a successful business. There is no substitute for doing the work. So meditate on this every day: “I will do the work. It won’t be easy. It will be worth it!”
Excuse #6: I deserve a reward (or a break).
We all deserve a tasty treat, or a day off. I’m not saying you shouldn’t give yourself a reward or break when one is deserved. But if you make this rationalization a primary rule for living, you’ll always be on a break. You’ll always be giving yourself rewards, and never adhering to the original plan. Here’s what I do instead: I see sticking to my plan as the reward itself. I see reaching my goals as a gift I give myself. Going on a run isn’t the thing I have to get through to get a reward—the run is the reward.
Excuse #7: I can do it later.
Sure, you can always do it later… but your later self will feel the same exact way. Think about it: Why should your later self be more disciplined than your present self? There’s no reason. In fact, because you’re allowing yourself to slack off now, you’re building a habit of procrastination and actually making it less likely that your later self will be more disciplined.
So today, stop making excuses for why you can’t get it done and start focusing on all the reasons why you must make it happen. Stop talking about what you have done or what you are going to do. Just do it and let your actions speak for themselves. Most great things in life don’t happen by chance, they happen by choice. You never know what’s possible until you risk finding out. In the long run, there is only one thing that makes your dreams and goals completely impossible to achieve: Your lack of action today. (Marc and I discuss this in more detail in the “Productivity” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
Excuse #8: One time won’t hurt.
This lie is so tempting, because it’s somewhat true: one time won’t hurt. Assuming, of course, that it really is only one time. One scoop of ice cream, one missed workout, one time procrastinating instead of working, etc. Unfortunately, it’s never just one time. One time means your brain now knows it can get away with this excuse next time too, and the next “one time” leads to another, until you’ve completely fallen off the wagon.
Make a pact with yourself: never believe the “one time” lie. If you’re going to allow yourself a scoop of ice cream, decide this beforehand and build it into your plan—“I will allow myself a single serving of sweets once every weekend” and stick to your plan, rather than deciding on the fly when your conscience is weak.
Excuse #9: I’ve already failed too much.
You’re only human. If you break down, it’s fine. Just don’t stay down. Rest, and then pick yourself up so you can go to where you’d rather be. Mistakes make us wiser. Failures help us grow. Hope keeps us going. And love is the reason we’re alive. Keep learning, loving and living.
As Winston Churchill once said, “Success is never final, failure is never fatal. It is courage to continue that counts.” Nothing could be closer to the truth. Persistence is the mother of all productive effort. Failures, small and large, happen every day to the best of us. The strongest, most productive people aren’t the people who always succeed, but the ones who don’t give up when they lose.
In the heat of the moment when you feel like quitting, think about how far you have come and why you started in the first place. Oftentimes you’re a lot closer to making a breakthrough than you think. Some people give up their efforts when they have almost reached their goal, while others conquer their goals by exerting, up until the very last possible second, more vigorous efforts than ever before.
Bottom line: Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit. Make some necessary adjustments, and KEEP GOING! (Read The Success Principles.)
Excuse #10: It’s too late now.
Change is constant, but growth is optional. Remain stuck or learn and grow. Where you end up is dependent on your daily attitude and response. And it’s never too late to change your attitude about something you can’t change. Just decide to make the best of it. No excuses. No regrets.
Honestly, nothing is too late until your tired heart stops beating. If you’re reading this right now, congratulations, you are alive, which means it’s not too late for you. Things can change if you want them to at any age. Right now you can choose differently and make something new happen. Your future is immediate. Grab on to it with both hands and keep on moving on. When you come up on a roadblock and are faced with the choice of sitting down and doing nothing or doing something to make further progress, choose the latter.
Think, work, and climb if you have to.
Move your life forward.
Today!
(Note: Marc and I take a deep dive into all of the aforementioned points with our students in the Getting Back to Happy Course & Coaching.)
Your turn…
What kinds of excuses sometimes echo in the back of your mind? What’s one such excuse that has held you back?
Please share your thoughts with us by leaving a comment below.
(Finally, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.)
Jane says
I’ve used every one of these excuses! I had a successful business with my husband. Then it all fell apart. His alcoholism became unmanageable and our marriage ended. Subsequently our business dissolved. We lost our teenage daughter in an automobile accident. My father died unexpectedly 6 months later (my mother had died when I was 25, a brother and sister before that and another brother after). Losing my daughter has been unbearable. I have been lost in the pain and confusion, the loss of will. But, I’ve managed to go through the motions of survival for my sake and for the sake of my other adult daughter.
I’ve been working hard to pull myself through it all. Your work has helped tremendously. It’s so much easier to slip back into the ‘comfort’ zones. I see myself in so many of your posts and in your gbth course lessons. Thank you for your continued, very-much-needed support!
Liz says
Hey Jane, wow! Cheering you on!! The fact that you are finding motivation and not looking for excuses just kicked my ass off my excuse wagon. Rooting for you and thanks for reminding me that whatever the situation, we can choose to be positive. Rooting for you!!
elissa says
I believed what my ex abusive step-father told me as a child, that i was worthless, should have never been born, lazy, dumb, etc.
Because of this, even when I succeeded I thought I was a failure because I thought I wasn’t successful enough. I worked so hard but thought I was not a success because I couldn’t provide for myself financially, but I loved what i did. I realize now that I believed I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, whatever enough and it pretty much destroyed me.
I am just now crawling out of a very deep pit, but I am no longer believing the lies and excuses, so I am grateful for that. And I am grateful for your posts, emails, and books. All are helping me forward.
Sue Henries says
It’s so good to hear you are crawling out of a deep, dark spot dug for you by an abusive stepfather. That man had power over you for a long time, and you are now in a position to halt his influence over you…You sound very convicted that he will have zero influence over the remainder of your life, and I applaud you! Sometimes, it takes some outside counseling to really eradicate those negative voices programmed into our heads by an abuser, so don’t hesitate to seek additional support if needed. The abuser has stolen way too much of your life already!
Bev says
I agree with the other comments above, and am thankful for your weekly emails, and can especially relate to this posting. Being a young single mom for several years I made many of these excuses claiming them as sacrifices for my daughter. Especially #2 “They can do it, but that doesn’t apply to me because they have it better than me.”
It has taken time to find that I can do it, just differently. We all have different circumstances and need to be creative and work hard on how to get where we want instead of avoid the pursuit because of our struggles.
Susan says
You are both so helpful, thank you! I get into a constant negative thinking loop, this article will remind me I have power to change. I love “I see sticking to my plan as the reward itself. I see reaching my goals as a gift I give myself. ”
Thank you!
Sandy says
My big one is that I am too old, I am only 34, but so much has happened I feel 90 most days. So I can’t have a successful band, I’m too old. I can’t take dance lessons, I’m too old…you get the point. I don’t really know how to get myself out of that mind set except to push forward.
My other big one is how I will look to other people or that people will think what I do is stupid. This has gotten so bad I don’t even really share my ideas with my family and friends. Once again I don’t really know what to do except keep pushing on.
Bj says
the picture is a wonderful accompanying visual reminding me that the future is mine to make – it is my journey – I am responsible for each step whether taken as a victim or a conqueror – I decide – and I honestly wobble between the two – this picture reminds me to stay strong n move on – look forward n keep going – thank you
joanna says
I have subscribed to your blog for many years now and read it faithfully. It is so wise, intelligently written and so “spot on”. I have never commented before until today. Today’s post is just what I need to hopefully, finally, move forward in my life. I am in my late sixties, in a long marriage that should have been over a couple of decades ago, and yet I am still here; too scared to get divorced because of fear of being alone, and “what do I do now?” and procrastination, big time, on that and other things. I defintely need to get out of my “comfort zone” but have not been able to.
Your post today really made it clear about why it is so hard to do that. I am going to read it every morning, first thing, and last thing at night, to try to help me to take my necessary steps. I heard someone on TV this morning say it does not take three weeks, but more like three months, to change habits. Exactly three months from now will be the new year and time for new resolutions. So thank you, Angel and Marc, for your never-ending wisdom!
Jonathan says
Angel, thank you for this post. We all have our excuses. I can relate to all of them and more. As I write this I sit with a broken foot (4 places) and semi ambulatory. It slows me down in walking for a few more weeks, though it has opened opportunity for me to work on other tasks, such as clearing my mind of the toxic messages I have allowed to creep in. Fall Cleaning for the mind as I continue to prepare for some significant changes on the horizon. I have allowed myself to feel trapped of late (last 12 months), my own self-imprisonment. As such I also have the key to release me. I am free and beginning to spread my wings. Great things to come. Thank you for this post.
Sylvia says
As a single mum to a 5yo, I’ve used all these excuses to stick to a job I hated, failed to complete my MBA, 4years on by telling myself how every colleague that finished on time had it better than me: no kid, no job they hate, no responsibilities etc
I had to make a deliberate conscious effort to quit the job and I’m now working on something that I know I should’ve done 7years ago, thank you for your post, all is not yet lost. I’m also working on my thesis, I want to better me, enough of the excuses.
I’ve more than what I need to get on the right track, I don’t know how’s I never saw this, all this while.
The mind gives you a refined form of what you give it. I fed it all excuses, and in turn it has perfectly shown how I could never have done anything. Now, I’ve tamed the mind, and its working for me.
I hope everyone overcomes the minds laziness.
Puspendra Pandya says
Hello!
This post has inspired me. I have been planning to hit the gym at 5.30 am before I go to work but now I am going to do it. Whatever it takes.
Jodie Rae Jantz says
Hi, I am not sure how long I have followed you, but this post needs to be turned into a poster for my classroom and home. Thank you for always giving me something to think about.
Joanne Reed says
Totally agree with what you are saying. A lot of want people want to be successful but they don’t want to have anything to do with the pain and effort that is required in order to get there.” We are living in a world of instant gratification, you want something and then you start dreaming about it hoping that someone will bring it to you on a silver plate. People should start dreaming less and do more. According to Marcus Aurelius ” Every obstacle you face is the way to advance your next action. What stands in the way becomes the way. Action is the solution and the cure to our predicaments”
Barbara says
Excuse #7 I can do it later: My daughter cross stitched this quote in 5th grade “Lost time is never found again.” 16 year ago, I framed it and have it where I see it every day. In those subsequent years I raised two great kids on my own and built a successful business of 30 employees. There is really no better time then today to work on yourself and your goals. Or to say thank you or I’m sorry. Don’t lose a day in regret for the people you love. Act now.