You are right when you say they die over and over again. That shooting pain comes out ever so often. BUT it reminds me to appreciate those who are important and to let go of people who do me more harm than good. It also reminds me to live, and to not suffocate myself with work as my moments with my precious ones are much more expensive than money.

I’ve learned so much and to emulate him through my life has been a gift in itself. I’ve met many people and was able to comfort many who have gone through these abrupt deaths.

I’ve got to give you credit for my healing. I lost my brother in 2010, and I haven’t stopped reading your blogs since. It has really helped me cope. In times of need and sadness, I open your blog, and it reminds me I am not alone and all I need to do is show gratitude, because life can be so much worse. And with that, I was able to carry on every day as a stronger person. Thank you, Marc and Angel! <3

Angel and I just read through all the comments here, and we cried, and nodded our heads.

Sending prayers of strength and love YOUR way.

Some days are better than others. And while, yes, it does get easier as time passes, what kills me are the little things which can trigger an emotional breakdown. Like the time I was sharing an elevator with a young family. The look of unconditional love in the father’s eyes as he looked at his little girl tore my heart out. Not just because of the close bond my father and I shared, but the look was identical to looks (in photographs) my father gave me when I was that age.

I just watched the video of your son because I read your comment. I loved his speech at Chelsea’s wedding – quite a sense of humor. My heart aches for you. Prayers of comfort and peace for you.

I lost both of my parents within 39 days of each other, the end of 2013. I had been their full time caregiver. I left my own family to spend the last year of their life with them. They were both diagnosed with cancer. Dad had primary liver cancer, which spread rapidly to his other organs. Mom had vulvar cancer and Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. I could never imagined in a million years what I had in store for me. Caring for them changed everything about myself and how I dealt with myself. I gave them all of me completely.

It has only now started to make a difference in the way I feel. I feel like I’m beginning to find my way through my grief. It took me a long time to get this far, but I’m finally feeling some freedom to get to know myself all over again. To care for myself. I’m allowing myself to get to know my family again. I’ve stopped closing myself off from the rest of the world. I’m moving forward for the first time in two and a half years. I’m sure that from this point on I will use my time for living and enjoying every moment I have here on Earth. God bless you for reaching out to speak to me personally, and that was what it was. This was written for me. Thank you.

Even my best friend could not talk to me about my pain, the actual physical pain that lingered in my body for years to come…she was kind to me but changed the subject whenever I mentioned my son. That adds insult to horrible injury…and isolation.

So let us talk about our loved ones gone…keep them alive in our lives…the worst thing is for a mother to feel is that their son is forgotten.

Thank you for this article and all your helpful articles. I am going through the worst time of my life now dealing with my grief over the loss of my 24 year old son. Remembering Sean Dortch you tube is a video of my talented son. It is so hard when I see boys or men of any ages because little ones and teens take me back to the past and older men take me to the future that I was robed of like not seeing him get married or become a Dad etc. He was killed as a passenger in a car driven by a drunk driver. I am trying in my heart to forgive the driver but what was taken from our family due to such careless actions by another makes it difficult. I know that I want to see my son in heaven when it is my time to leave this earth so I will work harder at forgiveness.

Hi Betsy
Its really nice we share our stories. No one can take anyone’s place but someone can definitely be some part of what you need… a puzzle has a broken pieces but once we arrange them we solve the puzzle a little more than before. Life is like that I have found, and you might know a lot more than me — you are 63 and I am 24, like a kid to you. But I wish you peace of mind again, dear. God bless you.

I appreciate any chance I get to tell my story. We were high school sweethearts, he had been very sick, and passed away a week before our 36th wedding anniversary. So now, it has been 5 years. I have accepted his passing because I know he is no longer suffering, and in a much better place.

We all do grieve in our own way. No one right way, but many ways to cope. I first started reading your blog soon after, and what I took from that first reading, was to take one day at a time. I still do that. Some days are great, others not so much. But it does help greatly.

Another tool I took from your readings, was to journal my thoughts. I like to write, and this has helped me greatly. I write like I am talking to you.

We were soulmates, going to grow together. I miss him still, as I always will. But also I do not want to be alone anymore. I am not looking for someone to take his place, because no one can or should. But he would want me to keep on living my life. I am 63.

One day at a time. Thank you so much for this post. This is truly one of the most meaningful to me. Thank you.

I want to thank you so much for all your inspirational messages you post, thank you. This one for grieving is so needed!! and at the same time is quite the “tabu”.

I have endured many passings, my 1st boyfriend was assassinated, lost my daughter, my parents and recently my fiance to colon cancer, was totally unexpected, came out of left field, his first symptoms came late December and past the end of February… May they all RIP…

With my daughter, yes everyone was by my side the first week, from that moment on NO ONE has ever mentioned her.
I would cringed when people told me at least you have your son or you can have more…
I keep her memories alive as well of my other loved ones, I have good days and i have sad ones, wondering how things could be if we were all together, and I sigh, then I also Thank GOD for listening to my prayers and taking all my loved ones peacefully….

Is like you mentioned one day your ok, then the next you hear a song, or hear a certain verse that only you can decipher that code and know it’s from them, letting you know they are ok and then you’re at peace…

Then every birthday, every anniversary any anything will brings you to a tender place of reflections…

I ve learned that people simply will not speak of it , and you wonder, do they even a little bit wonder or remember them or even care?…

Yes you have people that no matter what can not deal with grief until it happens to them sadly, then they say now i understand…. yet a little to late…

My girlfriend just lost her husband to a massive heart attack at the sweet age of 35 . I have been there for her and wished I had a friend like me to have been there for me…

So I channel it differently, I read your inspirational post, I write, listen to music, go to the ocean which I call it my soul food…

This is a topic that needs a lot more attention, people do need to be made aware and not categorize grieving as a tabu, but another part of life that learns to heal as time goes on, you learn to cope, accept, and you do and you have to move on, for the sun always comes out tomorrow no matter what…

Thank you, thank you for all you do, please do not stop!!! you are amazing!!!!
Keep up your awesome job!!!

my sincere thanks and admiration