It happens to all of us gradually as we live and grow. We discover more about who we are and the way life is, and then we realize there are some changes we need to make. The lifestyle we’ve been living no longer fits. The environments and relationships we once found comfort in no longer exist, or no longer serve our best interests. So we cherish all the great memories, but find ourselves at a crossroads in life, moving forward.

And it’s not easy. It’s painful to give up what’s comfortable and familiar, especially when there’s no other choice. Marc and I have struggled through this process many times out of necessity. Over the past 15 years we’ve had to deal with several significant, unexpected life changes and challenges, including: (more…)

The goal each and every day is to gradually grow stronger on the inside, so that less and less on the outside can affect your inner wellness without your conscious permission.

Truth be told, how you cope with unexpected problems and frustrations can easily be the difference between living a good life and living an unhealthy one. If you choose unhealthy coping mechanisms like avoidance or denial, for example, you can quickly turn a tough situation into a tragic one. And sadly, this is a common mistake many people make.

When you find yourself facing a disheartening reality, your first reaction might be (more…)

Maybe it’s the life lessons I was forced to learn the hard way, or the toll of loss and failure I had recently endured, but a decade ago, in the midst of a panic attack on my 27th birthday, I had to admit to myself right then and there that the cheerful world of possibility I once felt in my youth now seemed dead inside me.  I wanted to feel light and free and ambitious and passionate again, but I didn’t know how.  Luckily, I had a wise mom nearby who gave me some good advice.  She told me that she could still see a positive, passionate young man inside of me, but that I needed to do some soul searching to reconnect myself to him.

As I attempted to follow my mother’s advice, I remembered that I used to have several daily reminders written on post-it notes hanging on my bedroom wall when I was a teenager.  I called them my “10-second reminders.”  I would pause for 10 seconds and recite one to myself whenever I felt a wave of anxiety coming over me.

So, I wrote down a few of those same 10-second reminders again, just as I remembered them, and I added several new ones as well.  Then I posted them up on the wall in my home office in clear sight.  I’ve literally been surrounded by these daily reminders for a decade now.  And yes, I (more…)

During my competitive cross-country running days it wasn’t uncommon for me to run five miles at five o’clock in the morning and another nine miles at nine o’clock at night, five days a week.  I was competitive.  I wanted to win races.  And I was smart enough to know that if I dedicated myself to extra training, while my opponents were lounging or socializing, I would often be one step ahead of them when we crossed the finish line.

When I first started these early-morning and late-night runs, the experience was pretty overwhelming.  My body didn’t want to cooperate—it ached and cramped up.  My mind resisted—it came up with a laundry list of excuses.   And I found that the only way to consistently endure the extra training was to disassociate my mind from my body, putting my mind somewhere else while my body ran.

Over time, I became quite proficient at doing this.  I got so good at it, in fact, that I actually looked forward to running.  Because when I ran, my mind was clear, my body was in rhythm, and I was at peace with the world… especially when nobody else was around.  In the midst of what appeared to be a strenuous workout, both my mind and body were in soothingly tranquil states of being… similar to that of a deep meditation.

I don’t compete in races anymore, but I still run a few miles almost every day.  And even though I have a flexible work schedule now, I typically still run in the wee hours of the morning or fairly late at night.  Since my friends and family know I have a flexible schedule, most of them say I’m “weird” for running at such odd hours.  I’ve tried to explain to them why I do it, and how it soothes my mind and body.  But they can’t relate.  So, I’m still just a “weirdo” in their eyes.

Last night, after a long flight into San Diego to finalize some preparations for next month’s Think Better Live Better conference, I went running on the Pacific Beach boardwalk at 11:30 P.M.  It was calm and quiet out—just the way I like it.  I was about three miles into my run when a peculiar looking woman sitting on the boardwalk’s barrier wall shouted, “Hey, you!” and then waved me down.  My first inclination was to just ignore her and continue running.  But my curiosity got the best of me.  So I stopped.

The woman was (more…)

“Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.”
— Desmond Tutu

This morning a deaf man came into the soup kitchen where Marc and I volunteer our time.  He looked nervous and immediately handed me a note letting me know that he was unable to hear and that he also had health conditions requiring him to eat low sodium foods.  After exchanging notes back and forth several times, so I could place his customized food order, his final note to me read:

“You are so incredibly kind and beautiful, inside and out.  Thank you for being patient and accepting of my disability.  Even though I’ve been in need, I’ve been too afraid to come here for past few days.  I bet your voice is as beautiful as your personality.”

This was my most recent “in your face” reality check proving that the way we treat people makes a big difference in this world.

So with the power of kindness in mind, here are some of my favorite quotes from our blog archive that I often re-read just to remind myself to treat people a little better than necessary:

1.

2.

3.

4.

(more…)